Sarah's short stories for Rainy Days

Emotion

No no no.
I hate this.
All these emotions crowding me.
They want to kill me.
I'm dying, not even sure if I'm alive at this point.
All these stupid feelings coming into my head.
Why? Am I dying?? Am I dead?
Everything is coming at me with raging speed, I can't do it.
And why does it have to be her too?
I can't even comprehend how mad I am.
I don't even know what at anymore.
I hate this.
Make
It
Stop.
I really just want to leave.
Leave what you ask?
Everything.
The feelings my body.
No I don't want to die.
That's the thing.
I don't want to live either.
Give me a third option please.
I can't do it. I need a third option.
I hate everything.
Pounding my fist or biting fabric helps.
Too bad I can't do that or else I'll look like I'm having a tantrum.
Oh boo hoo.
Poor me.
You're probably mocking me.
Thinking feelings are normal.
Stupid.
They're not.
Not for me.
Why why why?!??
Stupid emotions in my head.
Let
Them
Out.
They won't like that right?
Who you ask
All of them
The people around me
The feelings in my head
The face that stares back at me in the mirror.
We're all caged up inside, will we ever get out?
No
Maybe you
But me, never.
The emotions are there in a cage clawing and biting at the bars.
Except the bars won't break, not even after biting on them for a long time.
No no no
Those bars stay intact
Whatever
I don't care
What
Ever
It's not like I gave any emotions anyway.
The raging beast inside my cage thinks different though.
Yelling at me as I type every word of this.
'I'm still here' it seems to taunt.
I lost the keys, the cage is locked permanently.
I threw away the key after last time.
I guess all I'll every be is a body protected a cage without a key.
Whatever.
I don't care
Do I?
The beast seams to think I do.
It's wrong.
They're all wrong.
I don't know anymore.
So strange, I used to think I knew everything.
Guess not.
Do you have a beast?
I do, and if it was let out.
Well, you'd better run.