Edward continued to look at me, like he was trying to figure me out.
Dam why did I have to think like that when he is here. Sorry Edward I can't talk about it, and let alone think about it.
(Well I might as well tell you (not Edward - YOU!!)
I was raped almost 1½ months ago. And found out 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant. I guess that they couldn't hear it yet.
I am just so scared. I don't know what to do. But all I know is I have to keep it. If I turn into a wolf, then I wont be able to have one. So this baby is my only chance. I already love it and all, but the thought of him being the father just scares me. But hey no other had the opportunity to be that, I was a virgin when it happened and I have not and will not be with another man for a really really long time.
I came to myself again, and saw Jasper look at me in an odd way. Shit did he connect some of my emotions. I looked down at my hands ashamed.
"Why are you embarrassed about Mira" Jasper asked.
Dam.
"Uhm I was just thinking that you could understand my feelings and didn't like that you could maybe understand what it was. I'm not ready to talk about it"
He Blinked and looked like he was in deep thought.
A moment after Alice froze up. Oh for the love of a unicorn's baby. I really hope it's not what I think it is.
Edward had frozen up to, I guess he could see what she was seeing. Dam it all to la la land.
Alice got back to our world and she looked at me like she was about to cry.
Oh shit oh dam and all that is bad.
Jasper flew to her, I guess from her emotions.
"What's wrong Alice, baby talk to me"
"I- I- I can't, its not my place to tell. " She sobbed into her hands.
Edward came over to me in a slow pace, and placed his hand on my shoulder. I flinched from the memory just as it came into the front and center again.
The memory of me lying on the woods ground, crying with a knife put to my neck, so I wouldn't talk or scream. The memory of him panting above me, telling me how good I was, how nice I was to willingly give myself up for him, though I would never do that. But what could I do, when there was a knife to my neck. And when he kissed my forehead just before he left and padded my lower parts in a loving manor. Ewww I just felt like puking. And that is what I did. I flew up and ran to the bathroom and puked all I had in me and more, out.
Alice came running in to the bathroom to help me. She held my hair and whispered that all would be okay. That she would always be here for me. But also said that I should talk to Rose, she would understand it all. I knew of her story from Bella, and knew that I could somewhat trust her, but I just couldn't for the life in me, talk about it yet.
The scar was just to clean for me to talk about... Now it was only Alice and Edward that knew. And I guess that Jasper knew just a tiny bit of it.
Ahh I hate those memories. I thought, just as another load came out of me......
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Sorry for the shortness, but the idea just pop-ed in. :) Well it has been there for a while and it was the only thing that was there, so..... Hope to have more up soon.... <3
