(Not) forgetting tris prior.

I cant do this.

I miss her. I miss her. I. Miss. Her.
How could she do this to me? It's not fair. I know I'm being selfish, but it's not fair. She left me.
Every day is so painful waking up without her by my side. I can't do this anymore.
Why? Why did she save her idiot brother?!? He didn't deserve saving. I can't even stand to look at him.
Life without her isn't worth living. She made me whole. She made me a better person.... I am nothing without her.
She hasn't been gone that long, but every time I think of her, it's like a knife going through my heart.

I lay in my bed with a tear-stained face.... Again. I almost never leave my bed anymore...
My mom has been trying to take care of me a little since it happened, but I hardly talk to anybody. Or eat. I cant live like this.
My phone rings and I pick it up. "Hello?..." I say in a gravelly voice from sobbing. "GET TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!!!" Yelled Christina from the other line. "What?! Why?! What's going on Christina?!" I start to panic. "It's tris!.... She.... She was pregnant...."
My heart sinks "I'll be right there." I hang up and run out the door to the hospital.

When I arrive, I get stares from everyone, but I don't care. I run into the room and my heart almost stops when I see her on the table, cold and stiff.
Stiff I think.
How cruel and ironic.
I hold back a sob as I turn to Christina "what do you mean she's... Pregnant?!" I say in a cracked voice.
"She was pregnant when she...." Christina gulps. "They might be able to save the baby... But they need you to say it's okay to operate on her...." She looks at me sadly. My heart sinks. I can't let them do that. I can't. But I have to. She would want this baby to be born. Wouldn't she? Yes. She would.
I nod slightly "okay. Do the operation....." I gulp and glance at her one more time then I walk over and hold her un-moving hand. "You're going to be a mom tris...." I whisper through tears. That's the first time I have spoken her name since it happened.