(Not) forgetting tris prior.

Painful

I hold her limp hand as they wheel her in the room to perform the surgery.

They told me that the baby has a 50% chance of living.

50%.... There's a 50% chance that I'll lose my baby too. A 50% chance that this was for nothing.

But, there's also a 50% chance that I'll be a dad.... Oh my god.... I'll be a dad?! No.... I can't be... I can't turn into him.... I can't... I won't.

I look down at tris's stomach and touch it softly "tris.... How am i going to do this without you?...." I whisper sadly as they wheel her away and shut me out of the room.

I stand there, staring at the door for a long time. I feel a hand on my shoulder.... It's my mom.

"Everything is going to be okay Tobias.... Your baby will be okay...." She says quietly.

"How do you know that??" I start to cry. "How?! How can you possibly tell me a thing like that?! I also thought that everything would be okay with me and tris! I thought that I was going to marry her! Have a family with her!" I start to sob and I put my face on Evelyn's shoulder and sob even though I'm way taller than her.

She seems startled by this but she pats my back soothingly.

I keep sobbing into her shoulder until the nurse comes out "mr. Eaton?...." She says timidly.

I look up at her hopefully and she smiles a little "you have a beautiful baby girl.... She's not quite strong enough yet so she'll stay here for a few days... But you can see her if you want...." I don't even wait for her to finish before running in the room and seeing the most beautiful tiny baby girl in this machine. My poor little baby. I walk over to her and put my hand on the glass and I look in at her small, crying face, and my heart sinks. She may just be a newborn, but her eyes are so much like tris's that it hits me like I've been shot in the chest. My eyes fill with tears and I smile slightly at the baby. "Would you like to hold her for a minute Mr. Eaton?..." The nurse asks.

I nod and take her in my arms very carefully "h-hi baby.... I'm... I'm your daddy...." I have tears running down my cheek and my mom comes up next to me and looks down at the baby. "Do we have a name?..." My mom asks quietly.

I nod and reply without a second thought. "Bea. Her name is bea."