(Not) forgetting tris prior.

Home.

I come home with bea in my arms.
I unlock the door carefully, only to find that Christina and my mom had made the entire house perfect for a baby girl. Pink blankets everywhere, bottles, dresses, cribs.
If anyone came in here, they would seriously question my masculinity.
I don't even care at this point though. I love bea so much, and now the house is perfect for her.
I carry her to the crib, but I can't bring myself to put her in it. I decide that I'm just going to have her sleep in my bed with me.... I'll have to be really careful not to roll.
I lay her down and get her soft blanket and wrap her carefully. I try to do it like how the nurse showed me, but I completely fail.
I sigh "bea.... You're going to have to bear with me here... I'm new to this...." I lay down next to her and look at her beautiful baby face.
She smiles at me and I start crying.
She looks so much like tris. So much.
I hold her close and close my eyes. She reaches up and touches my face softly.
I kiss her little hand. I can't cry in front of her... I can't. I won't.
I wipe my cheeks and look at her again.
Her big blue eyes look at me curiously and she makes a garbled sound that sounds like a sort of laugh. I smile slightly and get her a bottle and hold it while she drinks.
After a while, I put her on my chest, and she falls asleep.
She looks so peaceful, so quiet, so innocent. It's amazing.
Somehow, I too find sleep. And it is very possibly the best sleep that I have had since she died... And it's all because of bea.