BTS 8th Member

Giving In

Author's Note:

quick break from the soft moments. sorry to let y'all down but these are my current thoughts, feelings, and actions in a super short chapter. i'll be back with maknae line soft moments soon tho so please look forward to it.

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Jae was having a hard time. It was hard for her to keep up her bubbly attitude. Hard for her to continue talking, smiling, and laughing. Hard for her to enjoy life. Hard for her to continue.

Because all she wanted to do was crawl into a hole. And never come out.

She tried. She really did. But it felt like it was never enough. She cried every night in her studio and she laughed every morning in front of everyone.

Jae wanted to quit. Not only her career, but her life as well.

There were always expectations and high standards for her. And she enjoyed the challenge at times, but the pressure always made her cave in.

It was October 3rd, 2018 and Jae was sitting in her studio, listening to music as she stared at a blank screen. She had sat down, not really expecting to get any work done but still ended up going to a fresh new document to write lyrics on.

She stared until she heard the ding of a message from her brother. She switched to the tab, quickly typing back a reply until her tears were flowing and she could no longer see the screen through the blur. She didn't bother wiping them away and her light blue shirt was wet with her salty tears.

She ranted and ranted, not pausing until she got every word out. Then she went back and read through the replies from her brother. He encouraged her and supported her, relating her situation to times in his life when he had experienced the same thing.

Jae finally started to feel a bit cold from the tears and abruptly got up, rushing to the bathroom. She stood over the sink and stared at herself. Her eyes had turned red from the crying and rubbing and her face was blotchy with tear stains.

She washed her face, hiding the evidence, but it was too late.

"Jae?"

There were two knocks on the door.

"Are you okay?"

The door handle jiggled.

"Jae-ah."

Jae finally talked, her voice coming out as a mere whimper. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"It doesn't sound like you're fine."

"No, I'm ok."

"Mhmm, cause you running to the bathroom obviously crying is ok."

Jae finally opened the door, flinging herself into Jimin's arms and crying once more. She buried her face into his chest as his arms came around her body, holding her tight and close. Her small form wracked with sobs, shaking furiously in Jimin's hold.

Jimin said nothing and just held the distressed girl, swaying back and forth slowly as she let it all out. He ran a hand down her back and then through her hair, anything to try and calm her. She eventually went silent but did not emerge from her slightly curled up form. The only sound heard was the occasional sniffles coming from Jae.

Jimin took this opportunity to talk. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm not enough. All I want to do is give up and give in." she replied somberly.