Puppetry - P.JM. [ON-HOLD]

Fourteen

The wire against my fingertips felt like they were cutting into my skin slightly, but I didn't care at that point.

The small girl below me had her eyes closed, her dark hair pulled back tightly into a braid that one of the older women puppets had done for her. She wore a nicer dress than you would find on the streets. Looking at her, I felt a bit sad. Not just for her, but for the puppet owners. I could just imagine her being loved just like a child, but in reality the masters were mourning in a horrible way. It made me sick.

She was about twelve, possibly thirteen. She was still a child, her mind unknowing of the horrible things of the world. I wished I was in her position, my mind just as plain as hers. Even as a puppet, she seemed to have a wonderful life, even if the masters were sick in the head. She was their child, but I wished I was like her, wanting love from some authority figure, to feel like I belonged in someone's eyes. My stomach turned at the thought of it.

The wires were digging more and more into my skin, it seeming to try and wiggle to my bones. I gritted my teeth, ignoring the pain. Seeing her reminded me of my past. I loved talking to her, always turning on her system when I fixed her up, but today I didn't feel like talking. I needed my space to myself. I felt that going into the data lab was a mistake.

It was good to find the information about Taehyung's puppet, but confronting Jungkook made my day fall down even more than it already had. Jungkook didn't scare me one bit, but he knew how to get to my head. He knew how to mess with me. I didn't know why he did it, but it made me angry. He wanted to get to my head for a reason.

I probably wouldn't have been too affected, but the moment he said that Taehyung was throwing a party, that sunk my hopes down. I hated going to Taehyung's parties now. When I was younger, I found them to be nice and to socialize and no one knew who I was, but now everyone knew who I was. It brought drama to the party. Drama that always made me feel bad about bringing to Taehyung's party.

I was surprised that Taehyung still invited me to parties. Was it out of politeness or did he really just enjoy me being there? I mean, I did push away the girls around him. He never liked talking to them. He always told me that me being there was almost intimidating towards them, enough to ward them off. I actually felt like I could relate. I did the same with Taehyung sometimes.

Being there, though, had its downsides. There was too much drama with me hanging around. I always tried to stay next to Taehyung's side, but I hated relying on him to protect me in that situation. Everyone at the party always whispered about how I was too clingy and just took all of Taehyung's money for my own personal needs. None of that was true. All of it was the opposite.

I knew Taehyung was going to invite me to that party. I knew him too well to where I knew he would invite me and make me go. He would buy me everything I needed before he asked me so I wouldn't say no. He knew my soft spot. He knew I couldn't decline because I wanted to be generous. He had no mind of leaving me out of things he does. I felt like that's what got me in trouble.

I couldn't go this time, though. I always said that, but my head was injured. I couldn't interact with anyone. I would get impulsive, I felt like. If I did, I didn't want to end up getting into a fight. I always tried to keep my head straight, but sometimes people would just keep pressing and pressing until my breaking point. It would get me too angry to where I would have to sit up in my room for the rest of the night.

After doing a few things with the cords mindlessly, I took a look at my fingers. My middle finger and index finger had rings around them that were covered in blood, the sticky liquid slowly dripping down to my palms, the other way stained to where the red covered the crevices of my nails. I sucked in an angry breath, not feeling how much pain they were in.