Body Switch

Chapter 6 : My turn to cry

The tears can't be stopped. They keep rolling down my cheeks. I take another can of beer and drink it all in one gulp. The beer is not even tasty anymore. Hot beer is disgusting. Especially mixed with tears and mucus. However, I am drinking it hoping I will feel better in the process. I want to forget everything and wake up in my body tomorrow. Yet, at the same time, I don't want that dream to end. I feel so blessed to live among the members. I feel so blessed to be in Kyungsoo's body. I am a fucking hot man every girl dreams of. I can try to have an orgasm with his body to know what it feels like, while I observe his face during orgasm. I could see any member naked if I wanted too. I can touch them. I can sing with a beautiful voice and make Kyungsoo's learn any song I want. I can play the boyfriend and say every line I would dream to hear with his voice. I didn't even dare to dream of anything like this before.

I like them so much. I know it's not right.

DO, your warm voice helped me in cold weather.

Chanyeol, your big smile made me think everything is possible.

Suho, your strength tells me that if you work hard enough, you can make your dreams come true.

Sehun, your concentration during dancing makes me want to support you forever.

Xiumin, you worked so hard on your body to make it as you wished it to be because you were ashamed of yourself. It makes me feel that everyone should be loved as they are.

Chen, your powerful voice helps me to sleep.

Kai, on stage you are a god. I wish I can do the same one day with something I am passionate about.

Baekhyun, the mood maker. Everywhere you go, everyone ends up laughing. You spread happiness like seeds you put around your path. I am rarely in a bad mood since I know you.

Lay, you work hard in everything you start and yet still so humble and thoughtful. You became so successful. All your dreams are coming true. Thanks to you I never lose hope and don't accept any failure without a good fight.

They helped me so much in my daily life. How can I lie to them? Why couldn't I just stay in my own body? They are thrusting me. And here I am, thanking them by abusing their trust. I am so shitty.

I am crying so hard. My head is hurting so much. Isn't alcohol supposed to make people happy? During the party we were all so cheerful, we laughed so much.

I have trouble staying up. My legs aren't in my control anymore. I fall to the floor. It hurts. My drink rolls over and splashes all over the floor. There are some even over my clothes. I am so pathetic. DO had to show me everything a lot of times before I could do it correctly. He looked frustrated because I was so slow and there is so much to learn. I try to get up to repeat some more movement.... then I fall again. My legs aren't moving like I want them to.

I hear some footsteps coming in my direction. I don't want anyone to see me like this. I hide my head between my legs, lying on the floor.

"Oh ! It's just you. I thought it was again a crazy fan breaking in... Wait. Why are you still awake at this hour? That beer over there... you were drinking, weren't you? Oh god, why are you in that condition?" The voice is from Chen. I feel his hand on my shoulder. "Hello ? Soo?" He forces me to sit down. I kept my arms around my head to make sure he won't see my face. I do my best to be silent when crying.

"Are you crying?" I turn my head slightly to the right then to the left. "No...sniff. I am not." I feel very stupid and embarrassed right now. Perhaps he will understand that I, at least, hope he will pretend he didn't understand a thing. Aaaand nope. Next thing i know Chen is taking me in a strong embrace. He uses one of his hands to pat me on the head.