College was everything I dreamed it would be and more. The classes were fun and I loved my teachers. My roommate, Paige, was amazing and we became best friends instantly. The college is mostly girls with a few gay guys and I was overjoyed by the lack of boy drama. Plus I loved New York City. It was like a much needed dream come true.
Some nights Paige and I would attend a frat party at a nearby college and others we would go out to dinner at a nice restaurant. But most nights we would just watch chick flicks and eat lots of food. These nights reminded me of the sleepovers my friends and I would frequently have back home and it didn't make me upset or make me want to cry. It made me smile because Paige was just like us and I was sure my friends would love her.
On one of these nights, we were about to watch Grease, a personal favorite of mine when I got a text from Jake. I'm not going to lie, I was shocked. I haven't spoken to Jake or Zach at all since the awful day in Miami. But here was Jake now, saying he was in New York and he wanted to meet up with me. I didn't know how to respond. Paige knew all about Zach and Jake so I showed her the text to see what she thought.
"Well do you want to meet up with him?" She asked. It shouldn't have been a hard question to answer but when I opened my mouth to speak, no words came out. All I had to say was yes or no and it seemed impossible to choose.
"If you meet with him it might help you make a decision. He might have something important to tell you. Or maybe just seeing him in person will help you decide," she explained. I nodded, agreeing with her.
"I have to meet with him," I decided. Paige smiled and nodded as confirmation for me to go.
"We can watch Grease another time," she assured me. I laughed as I texted Jake back quickly. We agreed to meet at a coffeehouse a couple of blocks from the college. It was walking distance. I swapped out sweats and a t shirt for jeans and a sweater. It was December after all and I'll probably get cold on the way there. I slipped on my jacket at the last minute and called goodbye to Paige.
The whole walk there my head was spinning. What will happen when I see him? What am I going to say? What is he going to say?
When I arrived, he was already seated at a table waiting for me.
He smiled warmly at me as I sat down in the chair across from him.
"Wow I haven't seen you in so long," I commented. He looked different from the last time I saw him. I couldn't figure out why but I knew that he was definitely still cute. Shit, I shouldn't be thinking that. But why not? I am single after all. I can think a boy is cute.
"I would say I missed you but I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Jake said with a smile. I couldn't help myself from laughing.
"I'm just really glad we could have time to catch up," he said.
I smiled at him. "Me too."
"So have you, um, talked to Zach?" He asked cautiously.
I shook my head slowly. "Not since... you know, that day."
He just nodded. "Listen, I don't know how to tell you this so I'm just going to say it," he said suddenly. I braced myself for something awful. "Madi and I are back together."
Was that awful? I didn't know. But all of a sudden I started smiling. "I'm really happy for you." And I after I said it, I realized I meant it.
"Really?" Jake asked, seeming a little concerned.
"Yes," I told him definitively. "You guys are amazing together and after all, I was the one who broke you guys up in the first place."
He shook his head. "No that was my fault. I shouldn't have been so forward with you." I raised my eyebrow at him and he hurried to explain himself.
"I didn't mean that. I just... I..." I laughed, and he seemed relieved to be cut off.
"You don't have to explain yourself," I assured him.
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good because I have no idea how I was going to recover from that." I laughed again and I realized how much I missed talking to Jake.
We chatted for what only seemed like a few minutes but we ended up talking for hours. We each had had 2 cups of coffee and we probably could've talked for the rest of the night. But we each had to go our separate ways eventually.
After I hugged Jake goodbye, I smiled to myself. As I walked back to my dorm I suddenly felt, relieved. It was a weird feeling but I was glad it was there.
For the first time since June, I knew exactly what I wanted.
