Why Won't You Love Me | 5SOS | Luke Hemmings

Four

I wish that I'd put you first. I was wrong, I admit.

I got out of the car and wiped my eyes, making sure there weren't any left over tears hanging around.

The apartment in front of us was small. There were flowers hanging from the windowsills and a dingy door leading us to the inside.

Luke sat on the steps, a cigarette between his fingers. His hair was hanging over his forehead, making him look tired or exhausted. I was sure he felt that way, dealing with me lately.

He lifted his head as I got out of the car. Then he stood and tossed the cigarette aside.

"You should be in school, Madeline."

"Call me Maddie." I stuck my hands in the back pockets of my jeans, trying to conceal just how nervous I really was.

"Rachel said you wanted to talk."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't but she insisted that the two of us talk. She was an instigator that was going to get herself into trouble.

"Well? Shall we go inside and talk?"

"Why not?" I mumbled, knowing there was no point in arguing.

He nodded once and held the front door open for me. I followed him up the stairs to the second floor and to the door at the end of the hall.

"You live here?"

"I'm renting it until I go back home."

"Where is 'home' exactly?"

"Australia."

I took a deep breath as I followed him inside. There were a few guitar cases scattered on the floor and a jacket strewn over the couch. It was small but still looked nice and welcoming. I hated that. I wanted it to be gross and disgusting so I wouldn't want to be around him. "Was I born there?"

"Here, actually. Your mother didn't like to travel when it wasn't for work."

My mother. I sighed.

"Everything alright?" He glanced at me with curious blue eyes.

"I did some digging and I shouldn't have."

"Digging? For what?"

"I wanted to see who she was." I said, crossing my arms over my chest defensively. "Did you know she has a family?"

"Aside from you?" He asked, his voice breathy and cautious. It's like he knew this was coming. Like he knew I'd ask about it and be upset about it.

I nodded once.

He sighed and sat down on the couch. "I know. We don't talk but I keep tabs on how she's doing."

"You didn't think to tell me any of this?"

"She should be telling you, Maddie. Not me."

"It doesn't seem like she wants me in her life. She hasn't bothered to contact me in fifteen years."

"I don't think that means she doesn't want anything to do with you. It was hard to even find you."

"But you did."

"You should contact her. I think that might help things."

"What if she wants nothing to do with me?"

"That's a risk you have to be willing to take."

I stared down at my feet on the rug. It was red with tan accents. It looked too mature for Luke and the fact that he was a musician but I let it go. What rug he bought was his business.

"Maddie, there's something I wanted to ask you so I'm glad you came over today."

"What?"

"Would you want to come stay with me over the summer? In Australia?"

"You want me to stay with you?"

He nodded. "I know I can't ask you to move in. I'm sure your foster parents wouldn't want that-"

"Sandra doesn't even like me." I blurted. It was true but I didn't particularly want him to know. It was embarrassing and it made me look bad just as much as it did her.

He frowned. "Did you do something to make her feel that way?"

I shrugged. "I'm just not what she wanted in a daughter."

"Do you want to live with me? You could transfer to one of the local schools."

I wasn't that fond of Luke but a change of scenery might have done me good. Sandra didn't like me and I knew it. Getting away from her would make me feel better. I might not be so grumpy all the time.

I was about to tell him 'yes' when he spoke up. "I know it's a big decision to make. Take all the time you need."

I nodded.

"Do you want to go for dinner? My treat."

"Sure."