Why Won't You Love Me | 5SOS | Luke Hemmings

Five

Spreading out like the morning news, from the day before. Falling fast, breathing slow. Time is up, the end is just a dream.

I sat on my bed, staring at the desk across from me. Nothing in my room screamed 'me.' It didn't scream 'happy child' either. Was I that depressing?

I didn't think Sandra would remember me when I was gone. I didn't think any of them really would. I kept to myself and I had a temper when I was upset. Those weren't good qualities to have.

Even if they did remember me, it wouldn't have been a good thing.

I wanted to move with Luke. I wasn't sure how I felt about moving to a different country though. And to Australia nonetheless. It was a big step, something I'd never done before. And that was before thinking about how the fame would affect us. I didn't like being the center of attention. I didn't like when people made a big deal over me.

I had nothing grounding me in the States. Nothing was keeping me with Sandra. Luke could easily get custody of me. There wasn't anything keeping me from going.

Except myself. I was afraid. Of what, I didn't know. Maybe of the unknown, of what moving with Luke would be. Would mean. Would he change his mind on me like everyone else did?

I had less than two years of foster families until I was eighteen. Then I could do what I wanted, be who I wanted. I could be loved by who I wanted.

Derek walked in carrying his small laptop. He hopped onto the bed beside me. "Did you know Luke is famous?"

I shrugged. It wasn't anything new but I didn't want to act like it was normal.

He turned the laptop to face me. On it were a page full of articles about him and his band, 5 Seconds of Summer. "He was in a band and everything. How cool is that?"

"It's only cool if you're into that sort of thing."

He rolled his eyes. "Aren't you even a little bit excited? He's probably loaded."

"He wouldn't give me any of it. He barely knows me."

"He's gotta die sometime."

I raised my eyes at him. "That's a little morbid, don't you think?"

"I'm just keeping it real."

I pressed the down arrow and looked at all the articles on Luke. Some were good and some were tabloid trash. I wasn't going to let the media decide for me how I felt about him. "He wants me to move to Australia with him."

"Are you going to?"

"I'm considering it. Sandra doesn't really like me."

"She doesn't really like anybody, Maddie. The woman's crazy."

I laughed.

"You should do it. I'd kill for the chance to be back with my parents."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It's nice here and I like the stability but it'd be nice to celebrate mother's day and father's day with my actual parents."

He had a point. No matter how crazy that point was. He really wanted a family and I didn't blame him. I wanted to know Luke better. I wanted to know my mother, even after everything I found out about her. I still wanted that.