Torn In Three | Malum, Muke, Mashton

Chapter Nineteen

-Michael's point of view-

Only three days ago two boys would have done anything to have me, but now they would do anything to avoid me. Even Luke had been keeping his distance. It was strange; loneliness wasn't something I felt often. And I didn't like it.

There had been non-stop drama on social media arguing over how I'm "just a teenage boy", or I "need to clean up my act". Even Ashton was involved: people blamed him for my actions because they were still completely oblivious to what he had done. Rumours of our relationship were floating around because of Ashton mentioning something about us in bed, which I was unaware of given my mood at the time, and that was not good at all. Out of everything that happened since the fight, I did not want my secret affairs becoming public.

I never left my bedroom when returning from the police station, I didn't want to see anyone. Not that they would want to see me. I was alone with my thoughts, replaying all the memories I had with the three boys who actually liked me before I messed everything up. I realised what I truly missed about them: Calum's cuddles, Luke's smile, and Ashton's loyalty.

A warm tear escaped down my cheek at the thought of probably never getting those things back.

"I didn't think you had emotion." A voice said at the foot of my bedroom door. I looked up to see a grinning Ashton.

I hastily wiped the tear away before looking up, no longer caring about my distraught appearance infront of the boy. "What do you want?"

"You're not allowed to be rude to me." Ashton sarcastically gasped, making his way deeper into my messy room. He perched himself on the end of my bed, close enough to speak at a whisper, but far enough so that he couldn't smell me. Who needs a shower when everyone's against you, anyway? "You look like shit."

"Thanks."

"The boys and I were just wondering if you're ever going to come out of here," Ashton said, admiring the messy room I had called home for two days.

"Why does it matter?"

"If you weren't aware, people actually have to do stuff when they're in a band." Ashton's eyes were focused back on mine now, obviously enjoying how terrible I looked. I huffed, gathering my duvet and pulling it further up my chest. "I wasn't asking you, you need to get out of here some time between now and the next hour."

Defeated once again, I nodded. This was probably how every conversation I had was going to go for a long time - I didn't like it. Once Ashton stood up to leave, I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. "Wait."

"You're not trying to hurt me again, are you?" The nonchalance in Ashton's tone nearly angered me, but I let it go.

"I just want to talk."

"Speak, then." Ashton ripped his arm away from my grip in disgust.

"I'm..." I looked down, pulling the duvet up even higher for comfort, "I'm sorry about hurting you."

"Physically or emotionally?"

I paused, not really knowing the answer. Even though a part of me wanted Ashton back, I wasn't regretful over cheating with him. "Physically."

He nodded, smiling. "Apology not accepted. But hey, you're getting somewhere at least." Ashton moved towards the door again.

"Wait," I got out of bed for the first time in what felt like years, apart from using the toilet of course, and stumbled at my first step. It was as if my legs forgot how to walk. The blood rushed to my head and suddenly I felt dizzy, black spots crowding my vision. I fell to the floor, bonking my head on the way.

"Shit, are you okay?"

It took more than a couple of seconds to get my vision back, but when I did, the first thing I saw was Ashton: the hate in his eyes was gone. It was full of compassion for once, something I rarely saw since he found out about my cheating. "No."

"What hurts?"

"My-" I looked down, tears once again threatening to escape, but I stopped them. "My feelings. I fucking miss you, Ash." The words slipped out of my mouth and I instantly regretted what I said.

Ashton stiffened from beside me, probably lost for words. When he for spoke, his words came as a surprise: "I miss you too."

I looked up, now with a headache, and with hopeful eyes. "Really?"

He sighed, pulling himself down so he could sit next to me. It was brave, considering I probably smelled awful. "Yes, I miss the old you. The one I thought I knew everything about. The one I wouldn't have minded spending the rest of my life with."

I looked up, shocked by his words. "What-"

"Shut up." Ashton interrupted, obviously not finished. "But then I discovered the real you: the selfish, disgusting prick." I nodded, not denying the truth. "But that doesn't stop me from wanting the old Michael back."

Finding my chance, I smiled. "That doesn't mean the old Michael left, I'm still here." I nudged Ashton, my confidence finally coming back.

"Yeah, now with a criminal record."

I leaned forward, fighting my headache, and pecked Ashton's cheek. "Still doesn't mean the old Michael is gone."

Ashton blushed, looking down. He didn't want to enjoy this. "Is he here right now?"

"If you want him to be." I pecked his cheek again.

"I do-" Ashton started, but was stopped by my lips coming into contact with his: despite their time apart, our lips moulded perfectly once again, hungry to pick up from where we left off. Ashton was the one to ask to taste more of my mouth with his tongue, to which I accepted. His lips were more rough than I remembered, which I enjoyed. It only came as a shock when he pulled away. "I... Need to go."

I watched as Ashton ran out of the room and slammed the door behind him, leaving me alone once again.

**

After having a shower and putting on something other than pyjamas, it was time to face the rest of the band. It was going to be even more awkward after kissing Ashton.

I kept my head down, aiming for the kitchen in search of food other than left over biscuits in my suitcase. Living on that and water from the sink for two days had finally taken its toll and I was craving something healthy for once. Finding the fruit bowl, I grabbed as many apples I could fit in my jacket pocket as possible, which turned out to be five. I took a bite, nearly moaning in pleasure.

"Had you not eaten the entire time you were in there?" Calum spoke, laughing at the scene infront of him.

"No." I replied, continuing to destroy my apple.

Calum laughed cruelly again, walking away. "Meet us in the taxi. We have a show tonight."

Accepting Calum probably hates me too, I nodded. "Okay."

"Oh, and try not to kiss Ashton again on the way."