notes//yoonmin

2

Yoongi stared down at the rose in his hand in shock. Why would someone leave him a rose? How did they get into his locker? And who was it that left it? He always kept the locker secured to prevent people stealing his things or snooping through his privrate stuff, and he changed his combo number frequently. This meant that either the person who had left it either watched him constantly, which was extremely creepy and sent shivers down Yoongi's back, or they were picking the lock somehow. He didn't doubt this; many people had had their locks picked before and Yoongi himself had done it for a friend before when they forgot their password.

It was almost more disconcerting to think of someone sneaking into his locker to leave him a gift than to steal something. If this was just their attempt at wooing him, what would they be like as a friend or in a relationship? Yoongi imagined them being overly clingy and weirdly possessive, and frowned.

A loud shout from one of the younger students stopped Yoongi from dwelling on this too much. It was probably one of the many girls that watched him in the corridors, he thought as he sighed and tossed the flower carelessly into his bag. He almost hoped that the person saw how unimpressed he was at recieving it, which made him feel a little cruel, but it would probably stop them. Yoongi hasn't publicly come out yet because of the fear of being judged. A girl in the year above that came out last year was treated badly, starting with dirty looks and whispers behind her back but then progressing to one of her ex-boyfriends actually slapping her. Things got so bad that she had to move school even though she was in her last year and in the middle of exams.

Because of this, everyone except a handful of people that Yoongi knew he could trust knew about his sexuality. He had told Hoseok first, and then his mother. Neither really cared in the sense that it made no difference to them who Yoongi loved, as long as he was happy. Next was the rest of the friend group, one by one, and all of them were so supportive that Yoongi wondered why he had left it so long. The most common reaction had been to hug him tightly and reassure him that they didn't care, that it didn't matter. Yoongi cried multiple times while coming out purely from the love he felt from his friends.

If it was from one of the girls that snuck glances at him as they walked past in the mornings, it would be hard to deter them. He would have to either come out completely and risk humiliation, or be really mean to make them afraid to carry on. Neither option seemed that great, Yoongi thought.

"I wish I could do something like this for Jimin..."

This was the one thought that was louder than any other in Yoongi's mind right now. And there were a lot of thoughts. Yoongi managed to manipulate every thought to include Jimin, which shows how desperately he pines for the younger. Of course, the fact that it was an inherently romantic situation didn't help, and he was blushing now as he trued to imagine himself giving Jimin roses. It was so unrealistic that he almost laughed. Yoongi was pretty brave in general, but just the mention of Jimin made him feel all weak in the knees. He would never be able to talk to thw boy confidently, let alone try to seduce him.

Thoughts of the rose preoccupied his brain all day. It didn't help when his friends started making comments at break time, making Yoongi wish that he had never told them.

"They what?? Yoongi's got an admirer!" Jungkook shouted. Yoongi shushed him, rolling his eyes.
"Who is it???" Tae added.
"If I knew that I wouldn't be here right now." This prompted Hoseok and Namjoon to start cheering and saying something about a fight. Yoongi drained their chatter out and thumped his head against the table.
"I'm sure you'll find them buddy," Jin reassured him. "It could even be Jimin!" Yoongi didn't hear the rest of his speech because he had gotten up and left the table.

At lunch, Yoongi went to the bathroom to calm down for a minute. He had become quite flustered from the whole rose saga and Jin's comment earlier. Yoongi's friends were always teasing eachother and making comments like that, but it felt so weird when it was about the rose left in his locker. He splashed some water on his face and studied himself in the mirror. As usual, his hair had gotten messed up during the course of the day and a few mint strands were standing straight up in the air. Yoongi smoothed it down quickly and pulled out his phone to check for notifications.

One new message.

Jungcock: where are you??? Essay won't write itself!
Sugadaddy: I'm coming bitch chill out

He sighed and left the bathroom to head for the library, which was on the top floor of the school. A flash of pink caught his eye and he scanned the halls to find it again. His eyes sifted through the hundreds of busy students and landed on the one and only Park Jimin, who saw him looking and smiled softly. Yoongi's face started to glow red and he scurried up the stairs.

Yoongi tried his best to breathe deeply and calm his blush down before anyone saw him, but he couldn't. He cursed his shyness around Jimin. He could've smiled back or waved or even gone over and spoken to him, but instead he just ran away. It wasn't often that Yoongi was caught looking at his crush, so he was awful at playing it off. Why was Jimin looking at him anyway? The thought quitetened as Jungkook's voice rang across the library.

"Finally I'm- oh my god Yoongles! Why are you so red?!" Yoongi sunk into a chair.
"Just shut up Jungkook." The other eyed him with suspicion.
"You saw Jimin, didn't you?"
"What?! No! I..." Yoongi groaned and laid his head on the desk. "He's just so goddamn cute Kookie. What am I gonna do?"
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe.... TALK TO HIM" he then grabbed his arm in pain; Yoongi had punched it.

Needless to say, there was no essay-writing that lunch time. The two boys theorised about who could've possibly put the rose in Yoongi's locker, and had so far come up with a shortlist. It was written on the back of a consent form for some random sports trip that Jungkook had been invited on and comprised of:
1. Hoseok playing a prank
2. Jisoo, a girl who was obsessed with Yoongi
3. Irene, a quiet girl who admired him from a distance

"I really hope its Hobi. I can't be dealing with no dumbass girls right now." Jungkook laughed in response.
"Just tell them you're gay!"
"I can't. What if Jimin hears?!"
".....then he knows you're gay? C'mon dude, you have the biggest crush on the guy. If he knows you're gay you'll have more of a chance," Yoongi shook his head.
"You just don't understand. It's not that simple,"

This kind of argument continued round in circles until the bell rang and they rushed off to their last lesson. Most of what the younger was saying made a whole lot of sense, but Yoongi didn't like to admit that especially as it made him feel unconfortable to think about coming out. He was still utterly dumbfounded that someone liked him enough to do this; why not just tell him outright?

He spent that evening thinking about the rose as well as Jimin, imagining scenarios. He dreamt that Jimin was the one leaving roses, and woke up longing for his dreamworld yet again. He hoped that this would never happen again. He didn't want to have to reject some random clingy girl or explain that he liked someone else- someone who happened to be male and the cutest boy in school.