she's in the rain | k.ws

ELEVEN。

WOOSUNG

"i think i'm gonna go out for a bit. to the park." i said to my parents, standing up from the sofa in the living room to get the black umbrella that we put near the front door.

"it's raining, though. we don't want you to fall sick."

"i'm sorry. i miss her. home isn't the right place for me right now. and i'm fine with getting sick."

i opened the door and left before my parents could say anything else. i walked towards the park, another 10 minute journey. going through the buildings, in between alleyways. reminds me of that time when i first met hana, offered her to come to our home. until now, i still really didn't regret that.

i reached the park after a while, umbrella still in hand, heavy rain. i walked through the park - no one was here. everyone had gone to find shelter. except for one person. a girl, black hair, shoulder length. she somewhat resembles hana. even her clothes look like something hana has bought the previous day when i took her out. the weird thing was that she was sitting in the rain, no umbrella or shelter over her head. she was drenched. soaked.

i walked closer to her and i noticed a lot of stuff was on the floor infront of the bench. a school bag, another bag full of clothes. she wasn't moving, and she was staring at the floor, her head held low.

when i finally reached the bench and stood beside the girl, i realised her hands were bleeding. a lot of bruises on her arms. what's worse was that there were about 5 cuts on each arm, a razor blade sitting beside her, like it was her only friend.

"hana?"

when i mentioned the name, the girl looked up. it was hana. and even though it was raining, i could tell she was crying. she was gone for a few hours and she's a mess once again.

i dropped my umbrella out of shock. i felt sorry for her. she had no one, and even though i was standing right beside her, i could never do anything for her.

i sat down beside her. pushing away the razor blade, i pulled her into a hug. so tight i would die out of suffocating, but i would rather hug her and die than just leaving her and not saying a word. she rested her head on my shoulder and she wrapped her arms around me. my clothes would be covered in blood, but i didn't mine anyway.

"let's go home, yeah? actually, let's get your blood cleaned first. i'll carry you home. i'm sorry for saying such words before, it probably hurt you. i mean no harm."

she didn't say a word but just nodded her head. i took out some wet tissues, which became more wet, and wiped the blood away. she didn't move a single bit. i lifted her up andcarried her by my thighs while she rested on my back. she left her stuff at the park, but she didn't care. she couldn't care. after a few minutes of walking, i realised she was sleeping. she must be tired.

i'm so sorry. i shouldn't have done whatever i did to you.

we reached home and i instantly brought her up to my room. i brought her to the toilet for her to shower and she actually did.

she got out for a while and walked towards me. unexpectedly, she hugged me tightly, her face remains emotionless as she talks to me.

"i'm sorry for leaving and losing my temper just like that. i just couldn't handle it anymore. i'm so sorry," she said, continuously apologising.

"i-it's fine. i'd do anything for you to be happy. even if it means that you didn't wany to talk to me anymore, i'll do it. as long as you're happy." i looked down at her, smiling.

"i love you. it was love at first sight for me, probably isn't for you since you don't believe in it. i just wish i said it earlier." i continued. she remained emotionless, but she was smiling a little. a small change like that might not be visible to others, but to me it really is.

i love hana. i really do.