The Unfortunate Events of the Cook and the Madman

The Lion Shield Coster

Bale had wandered down the dry dusty street, casually showing off Steve to people who passed by, making his way down to the weapons shop. It was a large building facing front onto the town square. There was a big old sign hanging above the door shaped like a shield with a blue lion painted on it.

Just as Bale went to walk into the shop a large man barged into him leaving the shop. The man grunted by way of apology and fixed his red cloak back into shape, tucking a bag of coin into his jacket as he did. Bale side stepped out of they way loudly muttering “Oh no good sir, pardon me, absolutely my fault for even existing!” The man either didn't hear Bale's retort or didn't much care.

Bale sighed deeply calming himself, attempting to channel his inner Poppy. He finally took a good look around the shop, it was bare. There were a few hunting knives, a few wood axes and digging spades, mostly items that would be made by the local smithy. He shrugs and approached the counter.

A heavy built woman was behind it, her face furrowed in annoyance, something clearly had got on her nerves. She un-scrunched her face as Bale came closer, attempting to put on a courteous demeanour but somewhat failing.

“Good afternoon, my name is Linene, how can I help you Sir?” She asked, trying to mask her irritation with a smile.

“Afternoon, I'm looking for some good, strong armour, mine's been to hell and back recently.” Linene looked at Bale, making a study of him. Presumably happy with what the woman saw she quickly slipped past Bale, locking the front door.

“I have some items in the back if you'd care to follow me,” she motioned for him to follow and led him to a thick tapestry depicting a knight in silver plate with a blue lion tabard over the top. Linene pulled it aside, revealing a door which she unlocked with a hidden key tucked in her tunic and gave it a hard shove to open.

It looked like a store room with wooden shelves lining the stone walls. On the shelves there were two long swords, an array of daggers, a few different sized shields, a basked of arrows and a couple of bows next to them. There was a shelf with a handful of leather armour in different shapes and sizes. Bale picked a few up, testing their thickness with his fore finger and thumb. He sighed, placing the armour back.

“I'm looking for something a little fancier than this, and a whole lot more protective! Where's the plate? Do you happen to have another tiny secret room your keeping that in?”

“I do apologise sir, but this is all we have in stock. Perhaps a long sword would suit you?”

“Perhaps not,” Bale used his demonic power to extend his claws out, the purple and black smoky haze of demonic power filling the small room. Linene backed herself against the shelving, her hands behind her scraping around for a weapon. Bale retracted his claws, the magic fog dissipating quickly.

“I apologise again Sir, but there's nothing here for you then. Our shipments are prone to bandits and attacks. Our most recent wagon didn't even turn up!” Linene guided them out of the small room, locking the door back up and neatly placing the tapestry back. She strode over to the shop door to unlock it, looking out through the frosted glass of the door she could see a blur of red striding off into the distance. “And those damn Redbrands,” Linene angrily unlocked the door with loud bangs and thuds.

“Redbrands?” Bale asked inquisitively, testing out a hunting knife with a few swings. He liked his daggers better.

“Local thugs. If and when I ever do get any stock in they come and take it all! And then they have the audacity to charge me for the pleasure!” Linene groaned loudly.

“So they're a nuisance?”

“They own this town, they take anything they want and charge us for a Protection Service. Can't pay or have nothing to give? You'll be lucky if they just set your shop on fire.” Linene sighed as she came back into the shop. “They make it a living hell for everyone living here. You're best avoiding them all together if you can.” Bale lifted his hand up, silencing her.

“Say no more, I'll deal with these troublemakers!” He announced defiantly.

“Are your brains made of twigs and berries? I just said to avoid the damned bastards!” Linene spat back. “I know you mean well Sir, but your best of just avoiding the whole lot of them and their rat trap of a den.”

Bale turned and headed for the door. “Ooh a den? I do like a den” He smiled his menacing smile.

“They're not to be meddled with.” She could see that Bale would not listen to any reason. Linene ran her fingers through her hair in partial frustration. “You'd best be careful Sir, these guys are not to be taken lightly. If you really want to find them you'd best off trying the Sleeping Giant's Tap House.”

“The Giant's Taint, got it!” Bale shouted out as he barreled out of the door leaving Linene shaking her head in dismay.