Ghost of You || L.H.

6.

"You know," she started, tracing a finger along my chest. "This isn't helping." Her beautiful eyes peered up into mine as her hand stilled on my chest, laying flat against my thudding heart.

She was beautiful, she always had been.

Her blonde curls fell down into her face and I reached a hand up to brush them back, tucking them behind her ear. My fingers grazed the skin, gently tracing the diamond earrings I had bought her last Christmas. I wasn't sure that she had taken them off since I got them for her, other than maybe for cleanings.

"What isn't helping?" I asked, bringing my lips to the skin that stretched across her cheekbones. She heated under my touch and dipped her head into the crook of my neck. I loved how she needed to be near me at all times. I thrived off of it, really.

We stayed like that for quite some time, my arms wrapped around her, her hand pressed over my heart in my chest. Every once in a while I could feel the rise and fall of her chest, I reveled in the feeling of her next to me.

I waited patiently for her answer, I didn't want to break the peaceful silence between us. I didn't want to ruin our simple moment with words, but I wanted to know what she was talking about. So when it felt like an hour had passed, I gently shifted under her to get a better look at her face.

"What isn't helping, Emily?" I asked again, bringing my hand to her face and brushing my thumb across her plump lips.

"This," she whispered, her face leaning into my touch. It was such a simple gesture but it made my heart leap. "Imagining I'm still with you," she further explained when I looked at her confusedly.

It hit like a semi-truck full of bricks. It slammed through my whole body, leaving me in a heap of shattered organs and a broken body. Her words felt like a million weights pressing down on my chest, crushing my already demolished carcass.

How could she say that? She was still with me, she had to be. I couldn't live without her, how could she possibly have said that to me? She knew I couldn't survive without her. She knew it. Everyone did. How could she even think that?

"You should still be with me," I choked out, reaching for her as she slipped from my grasp. "Come back to me, baby," I pleaded, reaching for her again as she pulled further away.

"You know I can't," she whispered. I wasn't sure if she was actually whispering, but I could hardly hear her.

"Why?" I croaked, leaping from the bed as it disappeared under me. I walks toward her but with every step I took, the further away from me she got.

How could she be leaving me?

"You know why I can't, Lucas," she said softly, a sad smile playing on her beautiful lips. I reached out for her again as I started running after her.

It was no use. She was gone. She was gone as she was never coming back.

"WAKE UP!"

I sit straight up, frantically searching the bunk for her. A thin layer of sweat covers my whole body, my chest rises and falls rapidly as I slowly come to the realization that she was never there.

"Are you okay?" I hear his voice, hell I even feel his hand press against my shoulder, but I can't see him. I can't see anything. Only an image of her face floating in front of me.

She plagues me, she haunts me. And yet she's nowhere to be found.

"Yeah," I manage to choke out, shaking her face from behind my eyes. Who am I kidding? I can never remove her image from my eyes. It's burned into them. I have every feature memorized.