Ghost of You || L.H.

8.

My fingers pluck the cords and Calum and Michael's do the same. Screams surround us almost immediately, coming from every direction.

I have to admit, the shows have been helping.

I lean forward into the mic and as I begin the first verse, Ashton starts in on the drums.

"I thought we had a place, just our place, a home base, my headspace," I sing slowly at first, letting my eyes rake over the crowd. I grin into the mic and my fingers dance along the neck of my guitar as I finish out the verse.

"Was you and I always, but that phase has been phased in our place," I sing, bending down on my knees slightly. The girls around us scream louder when I do that movement. "I see it in your face, a small trace, a blank stare, we've been erased."

My chest tightens at the last line and it takes everything in me to keep my voice steady as I nearly choke out the last few words.

"But if we're way to faded to drive–"

"You can stay one more night," Calum and I sing in unison.

I turn back to look at him and he nods his head at me. The mic presses against my lips as the strap on my shoulder tightens. The guitar's weight rests on my shoulders and I cup the mic while I look back at my boys.

"We said we both loved higher than we knew we could go! But still the hardest part is knowing when to let go, you wanted to go higher, higher, higher!"

"Burn too bright, now the fire's gone, watch it all fall down, Babylon!" Our voices mix together to create one of the loveliest sounds any of these girls have ever heard and the screams that sound around us prove just that.

Hands reach up to us as I pull my guitar back into my hands and push through the rest of the song. Most of the show continues like this, fast paced songs that don't allow me to get in my head long enough to trigger anything. I'm grateful for the distraction, it seems to be helping.

I need to move past this funk I'm in, I need to pick up my pieces and glue myself back together. Otherwise I don't think I'll ever recover. I need to be able to move on, I just don't know how to do that. But for now, the shows and the guys are helping.

Somewhere in the middle of Tomorrow Never Dies I make the mental decision to tell Ashton and Calum about the memories. I think that's the first step to moving forward, being completely and utterly honest with my mates. I think that's just about the healthiest choice I've made for myself in the last seven days, if not longer.

"Some things are meant to be secret, and not to be heard, so if I tell you, just keep it, and don't say a word." I didn't even realize we started the next song, but thankfully my lips work before my brain catches up. My guitar has been removed from my body and I grip the mic stand, looking from Michael to Calum as I sing.

"Yeah when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get out, cause these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound." The words flow from my lips and a grin spreads across my features. Girls scream around me and I drag my fingers through my hair, tugging at the curls a little.

"Ooh," Calum and Michael chirp, "not everything is so primitive. Ooh, but I'm giving in."

I look back at Ashton as the mic presses against my lips and he shoots me a goofy smile. The girls around us go crazy and the beat picks up as I start in on the chorus.

"If these walls could talk, I hope they wouldn't say anything." My knees buckle slightly and I take a step back, twirling the mic stand on the ground around me before bringing it back to my lips. "Because they've seen way too many things–"