To Be A Killer

Chapter 72: Control

A/N: This is a warning. There is the use of the f word in this chapter. If that offends you, then skip to the end of this scene into the next. If not, then carry on reading.

The van slows to a stop, and Simon opens the door. He steps out first. I shakily follow.

"Welp, this is where we part ways, Five. Abel's only about a mile out. Shouldn't be too much for you. I know it's dark, but you can see the beacon. You should get in home in less than ten minutes."

I don't answer. My tired eyes simply stay trained on the flashing red light-the place that I've called home for two and a half years. I hear Simon sigh, and a hand grabs my shoulder to make me turn around and face him.

"Okay, Five, I know you feel guilty. That's not a bad thing. I think if you didn't feel guilty-well, I would be slightly terrified. But there's not one person in Abel that's not going to forgive you."

"I killed thousands of people," I whisper, tears filling up into my eyes. "I killed Caleb. I nearly killed Sam. I would have killed Sam if you hadn't stopped me!"

"You didn't have control over your actions, Five. You have to remember that." He looks almost annoyed, as if he shouldn't have to tell me this.

"Then why did I feel like I did?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I haven't been mind controlled before. But Five, everyone in that compound knows you're arse over tits for Sam. The only person who can't see it Sam himself, and that's because he's an idiot. They know it wasn't you. They know you'd never willingly do anything to hurt Abel, especially with your kids there. And I know I saw Milo out of the children's dormitories when I snuck in after you."

"You-you really think-"

"Yes. And I don't think. I know."

"But what if... what if I don't want forgiveness?" I ask.

After all, I don't deserve it.

"We don't always get what we want, I guess."

"Will you two hurry up?" Amelia yells. "God, what are you even talking about? Last time I checked, neither of you have an undying love for each other, so I don't understand the need for such a long conversation."

"Oh, sod off," Simon barks back, rolling his eyes at her before turning back to me. "It's time for you to go home. I'm sure everyone will be pleased to see you again, even if you do look like hell right now. The whole raccoon eyes and torn clothing isn't a good look for you."

"Haha," I say sarcastically, and he smirks.

"Don't worry, Five. Everything's gonna be alright."

I stare at him for a long time, and I see him shift his weight from one foot to the other uncomfortably. I lean forward and hug him, and he gasps.

"Woah. No need to get all mushy," He says, laughing nervously.

"Thank you," I murmur. "I couldn't have gotten away from her without you."

"It was nothing. Couldn't let the only friend I've got destroy her home." He has a joking tone of voice when I pull away, but I can see it in his eyes that he genuinely means it when he calls me his friend.

Simon starts to turn away, but I reach out and grab his hand, causing him to look back at me with a slightly confused look. "What are you-"

"Come back with me."

He chokes. "What?"

"You saved me. You saved Sam. You saved Abel. They need to know that. I... this will make everyone see that you aren't the bad guy. I won't... I'll make them see, get them to understand. Come back with me, please."