To Be A Killer

Chapter 10: Courtesy Call

Never before have my steps sounded so loud. One after the other-my shoe digging into the dirt, leaving the slightest shifting sound in its wake. But with the quiet that surrounds me at this hour, each step sounds like two metal pots clashing against each other.

It's not exactly late, but with it being fall and winter quickly approaching, the sun sets earlier in the day. Only a week left until it's September... making it just close to five months of our people being gone...

It's almost completely dark out even though it's only eight o'clock. With the sun gone, so is its warmth, meaning I'm left out here, trying to ignore the goosebumps rising on my arms from the crisp, cool air.

But this has to be done. I've already waited long enough, although the waiting was for good reason. I had to wait a few days to make sure Summer's guard was no longer up. She's been jumpy since I pointed out her missing toe, and I've been doing my best to act confused and concerned about her sudden jitteriness.

And I think the work's paid off, since she's no longer looking over her shoulder when she passes me. She's probably thinking I pointed out her scars out of curiosity, which is exactly what I need her to think.

I really do hope I won't have to kill Summer; I quite like her. She's funny and an excellent shot, but I'll do what I have to to make sure my secret stays a secret. Knowing my name-knowing all the things I did for the Torrencers... they'd never forgive me. And they wouldn't trust me once they find out what my files say.

It will say 'Sold', but it will also say something else-something that I couldn't explain without telling about all the things I did. And I know they wouldn't forgive me, even if I had no choice. Kefilwe, Paula, Jody, Janine, not even would Sam would understand. Not with the lives I've taken-the lives that still haunt me.

I shake my head. Now's not the time for regrets. I just have to focus on this.

The knife in my hand feels oddly heavy, and I send another small prayer in hopes I won't have to use this. I don't want to kill Summer, since I know I would feel tremendous guilt and explaining her death would be really tricky. Plus, she's a good runner, and has actually saved my life a few times.

But I know that if it comes down to her or me, I'll choose myself.

Funny. Usually I was never the one I'd choose, if I was even in the equation...

But I have two kids here who need me, even though one of them's being a real pain in the ass. Milo chewed me out for running with a ten-year-old girl and being totally okay with it while not even wanting him to do training. I didn't argue, even though I wanted to tell him I wasn't pleased about running with Margie, and I know he's been going to the training yard behind my back.

But I didn't say anything. I just let him rant and storm off to go meet with some of his friends. I think their names were Polly and... Zach? Or was it Pansy and Zeke? Something like that. As much as I would like to know who Milo's friends are, I've barely had the time to help him and his sister with their homework, much less do anything else with them.

But hopefully I'll be able to make it up to them after I get rid of this one problem at least.

I can see Summer now, walking along in the darkness at a leisurely pace. She's shivering, her hands rubbing her arms in attempt to warm them, water droplets dripping from her hair. I can't understand why she took a shower this late, since the weather is getting colder and she could easily get sick, but I guess it just makes things easier for me.