A uphill slope

The slip, Part 1

"Why don't you go talk to her?"

"I can't man, she's way out of my league, besides, she goes to several parties a week and goes all around town to meet friends all day, I can't handle that."

"Why not?."

"it's... Personal."

"Man... This party is starting to drag me down, I'm out of here."

"See you tomorrow at schol then Josh."

I was all there by myself at the party now, being socially anxious already I just had to leave, without my friends there I just felt awkward and weird.

I decided to leave early.

It was winter, the party was to celebrate our hard work this semester, and I did work hard so this was a good way of letting of some steam but it was mostly a excuse to hang out with my friends and see if I could get around my social anxiety and maybe talk to someone, a girl preferably

As I walked down the icy, extremely slippery sidewalk I looked at the time and saw the bus was gonna leave in 10 minutes, it was a 6 minute walk but I decided to take a shortcut and slice off about 2 minutes of the walk incase the bus came early and I wanted to sit down anyways as my feet were starting to hurt.

"Man I gotta be careful, should change my pace so I dont fall"

I think this to myself but then my feet start hurting more so I never changed my pace.

The shortcut involved a uphill slope with bars coming left to right to prevent bicycles from going down here as it was very straight down and led straight into a somewhat-busy road.

I started walking up the slippery uphill slope but instead of making it to the top... I fell. I hit the side of the back of my neck on one of the bars only to hit my head and shoulder on the solid ice and small amount of concrete. I start bleeding, slightly stunned and disoriented I started feeling numb from all the cold, I didn't feel any pain anymore. Nearly the first time in my life I wasn't in any pain became a relief and I accepted it, accepted it so much that I didn't even try to get up. and instead thought that this might be the way I die, my life was a complete wreck and nearly all pain and I wasn't happy and I didn't see a downside.

I heard a scream. apparently I had slid down a bit and I lost so much blood it made its way to the sidewalk.

"Call 911!" she yelled out.

It was a small group of teenagers who were leaving the party, I think I saw the girl my friend wanted me to talk to but could barely make it out, I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital with no one in the room. I saw a little button on the side of the bed connected to a cord which looked like what you use to call a nurse, out of curiosity I pressed the button and a moment later a nurse walked in, she told me a doctor would see me in a moment along with my mother. Apparently she just entered the hospital to see how I was doing. When my mother and the doctor walked in I had the most confused look on my face, like I just saw a purple elephant trying to get a drink out of the soda machine.

"Hi I'm doctor Sowell, how are you feeling?"

He asked me all the trivial questions, I honestly couldn't give him an accurate answer to all of them since i just woke up but I gave him honest answers.

"Oh!! I'm so happy you're awake!"

"wow. How long was I out?"

Only for a day, apparently because of your bone problem, that hit was a bit more serious and you lost a lot of blood, we are surprised you didn't die. he said in a very normal voice, like he has given bad news to a lot of patients

Really, that much blood?

"Well... Not that much that you nearly died but it was the hit to your spine, luckily you hit a spot with a lot of muscle protecting the bones but you could have broken it pretty severely and maybe even causing instant death, but we need x-ray's to make sure no bone fragments are lodged anywhere or anything of the sorts and to really see how serious this was."

I was shocked, but, a bit disappointed at the same time. Did I really want to die that much?I guess I now know. Luckily there's no way they know that so atleast I don't have people breathing down my neck about the importance of life and all that crap.

"I'm so happy you're awake son."

Wouldn't all mothers be?

I don't say it outloud as if I'm questioning her love for me in some way.