Is it dark enough yet ?

I cry at night

I cry at night for the girl next door who just became another statistic
Walking around with her belly of shame and school no longer a choice
I cry at night for the girls in the poetry that have the curse of being able to feel more
I cry at night for the injustice I've felt, I'm going to feel and I've never felt and I'll never feel
I cry at night because if I don't feel all I won't feel any
I cry at night because my ancestors rely on me
I cry at night because I feel the weight of the black community
On my shoulders
Which are very weak
I cry at night because I don't think I grew a back bone
I cry at night for the girl in my book who's friend just got shot by the police
So far yet so close
Not close enough through my fingers but only through the words can I feel
And sometimes just sometimes
I don't worry about anything else and I cry at night for me.
This is how I feel
When I cry at night
Every night a new reason
I heave because I can't breath
My heart closes in on me
Snot running down my nostril
Tears rolling down to my ears
The crying is built on fear, depression and anxiety
I wake up the next morning wash my face and forget, until the next night to continue to cry.