Is it dark enough yet ?

Uncultured

I sit across from them in the library
The ones with more culture
More fight
More everything in their bones
than I'll ever know
The creole, patwa rolls off their tongues beautifully
Whereas everywhere I go I'm reminded that I sound like a white girl
I'm always told that I am more privileged
To be born in this country
Same black skin but I'm second generation
Not a real Jamaican
I never felt like I was called out on my uncultured attitude until I was asked about my country's pre - colonial era and I had no idea what to say
I couldn't even comprehend
I think that maybe I could blame this on my parents for not teaching me the way
But I'm the one in this country
I'm the one who has taken on these labels that I never belonged in
I'm the one that has fit into the box they gave me and I'm the one that never looked back and never even asked
I'm the one who feels like she can't answer the question "where are you from"
I'm the one who has white girl rolling off her tongue
Still I feel like I don't know how to turn back the clock, demolish time and see my ancestors with the strength they possess
See where this anger has stemmed
Understand the meaning of the weight that lies on my shoulders
Look deep into my heart and my soul, in my blood stream and bring back the fight
To tear down the box and rip out my tongue with that white girl talk
To learn my mother tongue
To learn true poetry, to understand the meaning of my words
And hopefully in the time that I find myself, I make a small change in this world by not conforming to the white girl they moulded into me
I hope one day that I can be free