Emergency Room Romance

Silence is Far from Golden

I could’ve cried on the journey home from the long shift at the hospital. Robert sat in the passenger seat, arms folded with his lips tight shut. He didn’t even look at me when we were collecting our things from the lockers. I wanted to say something, anything to him, but I didn’t know where to begin or even what to say. One of the many traits that the Lyons held was stubbornness. It was more than difficult for us to apologise first and I still didn’t feel like I’d done anything wrong.

Connolly was spending more time flirting than actually treating patients. I’d have done it to any intern regardless of who their lustful eyes were set on. A hospital is no place to flirt. I may have been dating a fellow doctor, but unless it was lunch time or when we were both off duty, I kept the flirtatious comments and the intimate actions far from Princeton Plainsboro. I didn’t understand why Robert had gotten so mad at me. It made no sense and if I didn’t understand it then I couldn’t rectify it.

A cheerful Emily greeted me as soon as I pushed the door open, and as she hugged me, Robert walked straight by and into the kitchen, getting a glass of water. Luckily, the small girl remained oblivious to the cold shoulder treatment and eagerly dragged me into the apartment to see the paintings she had done with the babysitter that afternoon. She showed me one of myself and Rob, holding hands and she’d scrawled red love hearts all around us both, almost making me want to cry. I had never intended to cause us to fall out like that and I felt awful knowing that it had been envy that had caused me to act the way I did. I would’ve told her off for her behaviour regardless, yes, but I wouldn’t have done it so publically and condescendingly. She just offered everything that I couldn’t though and it made me realise just how damaged I actually was. I mean, I was far from innocent and I’d seen things and experienced things that no one should have to go through. I already had a child and I’d raced through my career to get to where I was, so much so, that I’d sacrificed a life because of it. I was twenty eight and living the life of someone who was easily in their forties. I didn’t know how to act, dress or be sexy and seductive anymore. I was the type of girl who wanted out of her clothes as quickly as possible and into the pyjamas that were easily too big for her, but were more comfortable than anything. Partying and flirting were for everyone else. I’d be the one to take care of folk, make sure they were alright, leaving myself for last.

Today, I’d been selfish though. I’d acted for myself, the defence mechanism kicking in way too strongly for the situation, forcing me to take on the role of the cold bitch who worked her interns to death, nit-picking at every little thing they did wrong or too slowly. I’d reverted back to the woman I had been when Doctor Richards worked with me and I did everything in my power to push the interns to the verge of breaking point. My internship had been hell, not because of the doctors guiding me, but because of the brutal beatings I’d face when I got home, all because I was on call that night or an emergency had held me back longer than anticipated. The hauntings coerced me into wanting everyone else to go through the rough times I did, just not with fists or kicking. I thought I was strong, but I was just stone.

The bathroom door slammed shut and I looked sorrowfully at it until Emily’s hand tugging at mine caught my attention.

“Mommy, why is Rob quiet?” She asked, her innocent blue eyes gazing up at me.

I sighed and then forced a smile. My little girl was finally in a home that was void of confusion and fear, where her mommy was around daily and I didn’t want to snatch that away from her. “He’s just had a bad day. He’s got a nasty headache.”

She nodded her head slowly and then smiled so innocently that it almost made me cry. “I'm make him something! He'll feel better!” Her misused grammar was adorable and she skipped off happily towards the bedroom and I heard the sound of her pulling her craft kit from the cupboard where her toys were kept.