My Ups&Downs

Mentally Ill

I've always feigned ignorance of my mental state. I always convinced myself that I'm fine, that there's nothing wrong.

But deep down inside, I knew that there's definitely something wrong with myself.

I feel anxious and scared of what other people think. I feel obligated to do every single thing they ask me. When I refuse to, the guilt is killing my insides.

I can't help but lie about something, every single day. I try to run away but their expectations of me, chains me down to those things I want to run away from.

The pressure was making me sick. I've said it to some people but they take it so lightly that I just made myself believe that I'm just thinking too much.

I let it bottled up, I let it turn into something that made me sick of the world, made me sick of my own self.

Now I am here, enduring my headache after I just cried in frustration. Typing words that my heart portrays, hoping that to feel lighter and brighter than before.

Let's not bottle up ourselves.