Tell me you love me. (Jahvie)

Chapter 37- Thoughts of Uncertainty

*a month later*

NATE'S POV-

Tate is just the sweetest thing that has ever happened in my whole entire life. Other than you know, being born, meeting fans, touring, making music, and meeting Dahvie and Jayy.

Sometimes I sigh about how he doesn't know how much he means to me. Tate is my whole universe and stars, without him, if would just be darkness. Tate's the one to lead me out of the dark, and ever since I met him the fire has never been brighter.

But the question is if I really want to go there. To go and risk it all for his love. Of course it's worth it, but what if I am just a mere toad to him? What if I'm just how he wastes his time?

The suspense is killing me, and I hate how I can't go onto people's minds to find out how they feel. It makes me feel so dreadful, not knowing how I'm liked, or when I can make a difference and be there for people when they need it.

I can't believe I'm even thinking about love, I'm just a fraud that doesn't deserve it.

After what I've done to my ex boyfriend in the past, I'll never forgive myself.

I abandoned him when he needed me most, being the ass I was at the time.

I was unreal and an asshole, wanting to follow the footsteps of one I'm not so fond of anymore.

Would it be the same for Tate? Or just a whole new generation of whole hearted feelings that I won't destroy in a single pathetic touch?

If when in the course of these events, makes me feel the worst.

I hate to cringe about my past, but they've shaped me into the person I am today.

I used to be a guy who never cried, and was never sad ever. Now that's all that I am. I'm happy about it though. Though I'm incompetently unhappy about the unrealistic nonsense I tell myself at night.

After I was shot with realization that one night of what I did to my ex, I became a whole new person. And I can never forget what I did to him.

I don't want Tate to be like what happened with my other ex and I.

This whole time that boy has brought me so much happiness, no matter what. He truly was everything to me? Do you think he'll ever come back the way he used to? His personality is still dashing and he's still perfect. We talk a lot but he's not like Tate. He's moved on, I just have uncertainty over Tate.

Wow, over thinking about boys again..

Tate Brusnop, you're one hell of a boy..

Harry Motionless: Hey Nate, holy shit has it been a while. XD

And then.. That ex I so felt bad about and the one who still at this very moment makes my heart melt-

Contacted me.

__________

HEY GUYS.

HOLY SHIT HAS IT BEEN LONG OR WHAT?

WOW.

Well Im just here to tell you guys that I'm alive. I'm sorry I haven't been very active lately, it's just because I don't have many ideas, and I've gotten into newer bands.

But I'll never leave you guys so.

I love you all endlessly.

If you guys have any ideas for the next update, please comment, it shows your support and I appreciate it dearly.

AND..

HARRY OR TATE?

I've talked about Nates frolicking ex a shit ton.

Should Nate make up with Harry and get romantic, stay on the road with Tate, or continue on and find out himself with some time?

Anyways~

I hope you all have a super fantastic amazing day and don't you dare forget that you're perfect.

You're beautiful and stay strong.

I love you,

Jennifer.