Another Life

Chapter 8 - Up and down and up again.

That night, I didn't have nightmares. What I did have was warmth, a lot of it, and when I woke, Legolas hadn't budged an inch. He was still wide awake, still gazing around, his head twisting a fraction in my direction.

“Were you there all night?” I mumbled, voice heavy with sleep, and he blinked at me.

“Sorry, I do not understand you.”

Oh. Accent. I tried to swallow back the sleepiness, speak clearer, “Did you keep watch from there?”

“Aragorn took his turn not long after you went to sleep. I have rested here.” Legolas shifted, slowly, and I swore I heard something crack. A bone? So he was at least made of muscle and bone. That was nice to know. He stretched an arm slowly, over me, and I swore I smelt a trace of that body odour once again.

“Rested sitting up?”

“It was enough.” Legolas reached down, tucking hair out of my face, and I reached up to feel it was all over the place again. Our hands brushed and he actually flinched, blinking at me.

The contact sent those tingles all throughout my body though, even though it was brief, and he blinked at his own action. Legolas stood up quickly. No one else saw it, everyone except for Boromir were asleep, and he was some distance off up the hill.

I was attracted to the elf. I knew it. It was kind of embarrassing. Somehow it felt wrong, like it wasn't meant to be here, and I didn't look at him as we packed up camp and ate a hurried breakfast.

Hurriedly tying my hair back, or attempting to, I followed the Fellowship up the slope, staring around. It was only as I re-dressed that I remembered I didn't have a ear on that side, that he must have noticed, and the more familiar self-loathing returned. But I was too tired to focus on it.

Luckily, walking seemed to push it back. Instead I focused on trudging up the hillside, I wondered what the hell he'd talked about. Come to think of it, was this foresight thing an Elf thing? Hadn't Lord Elrond said he'd done it? Did Legolas see things too?

I didn't really know. I didn't really want to think about him. Now that I'd acknowledged the attraction, it was hard to look at him, to think, because it was …

I didn't know. That was the problem. It didn't feel right. None of this did. And, I realised with a start, that every vision I'd had so far had never included me in it. Never. Them, yes, but not me. It was like I wasn't even here.

The thought freaked me out.

It got progressively colder though, that I knew, and boy did I feel grateful right now for the warm waterproof boots that I had been given. No matter how much dew, snow or otherwise under our feets, the bottom of the boots never seemed to slip and no dampness got in.

That night, the cold again, and like before, Legolas appeared. Warm, bothering my mental state, and this time I was even more painfully aware of his shift of muscles against my side. I had to turn onto my side, back to him, which didn't help because now I just felt more of him against my back. It kept me awake long after everyone else was asleep, this awareness of a growing attraction, which bugged me to no end. I kind of wanted to tell him to go away now. But would that make it obvious?

Memories of that drunken ...whatever the hell it had been... sprang back up big time now. If I got him drunk again, I could …

Yeah, that was just not going to happen.

“What's your home like, Legolas?” I said quietly. There. Safe topic.

“Old.” The answer wasn't that surprising, not really, but Legolas shifted softly as if the topic bothered him a little. “It is surrounded by ancient forest, old forest. Once, it was great, full of light, the trees content and happy to speak to us. Now, we only have a small place left, and the trees are angry. Much of the forest is no longer safe to even Elvenkind.”