Mending a Broken Heart

Chapter 28

Baby steps

Melody's POV

I let the cold water run down my body. I've been standing here for quite some time thinking over these past weeks.

Jake just left. He up and left. I knew he was moving out, he had told me. I just didn't think he would leave like this. I wanted the chance to say goodbye... and to thank him.

I looked up, letting the water hit my face. The letter he wrote hit home. However, things are easier said than done. I know he's right... my dads right too. I can't - I can't let this destroy me. I'm going to have to live with it. I let a few tears fall.

I need to talk to him. I need to know why. Is he still with her? Did he leave her? Has he been looking for me? Does he know I'm back?

Part of me doesn't want him to know I'm back, but that other part...

I sighed and shut the water off. All my emotions were back. There wasn't anything that was shoving them back anymore. The drugs and the alcohol... they didn't take away the pain... it just temporarily numbed it.

I went to my room, changed and sat on my bed. I stared at nothing. Although my emotions are back I feel empty. I don't like it. I got up, getting ready to leave my room. I shut my eyes tightly before exiting the door. I took in a deep breath. I told my dad I wouldn't stay locked up in here.

I have to talk to them. I just don't know if I'm ready yet. I need to take things slowly. I walked down the hallway towards the kitchen. I need food.

I saw my dad smile, looking relieved. I ignored him and Jess. I'm taking baby steps.

"Are you hungry?" My dad asked. He got up from the couch. "I can make you food. There isn't anything. I haven't exactly been cooking these past few days." He said. I looked at him. I didn't notice but he does look thinner. A wave of guilt filled me. He hadn't been eating because of me. A part of me doesn't want to feel guilty, but I can't help it. He's my dad. I cleared my throat.

"It's alright. I'm good with cereal." I said.

"I can make you something if you'd like." Jess offered, looking remorseful. I shook my head and gathered the cereal. They sat back down on the couch looking unsure of what to do or say.

Once I finished I washed my plate. I stayed standing by the sink. I didn't know what to do. I was in a dilemma. Should I stay with them? Before I could think further, there was a knock on the door. My head turned automatically.

"Who is that?" I asked accusingly, getting angry. They must have told everyone they found me. Their faces said it all. I glared at them. "Tell whoever it is to leave." I said. Baby steps! Jess looked at my dad. He got up and walked to the door. My heart started racing. Shit. I should have gone to my room. The problem was, I couldn't move my legs. I was frozen. He looked through the peep hole and sighed. He opened the door a little bit. I couldn't hear much. He was whispering.

Soon the door closed. I was disappointed for some reason. Was it him? I wanted to ask. I wanted to run and throw myself at him. How could he do this to me? I wanted to kiss him, but hit him at the same time. Why do I have to feel this way?

"All good." My dad said. But it wasn't. "I mean..." my dad said after noticing my reaction. I sighed and shook my head. They're not intentionally trying to hurt me.

I thought back to Jake's letter. I swallowed the lump I had in my throat. I need to talk to them.

"Jess... can you go to my room? I want to talk to my dad." I requested. I need to hear them out. She looked surprised.