Time To Live

Chapter 11: Buoy

For the first time since he began seeing Dr. Walters, Chris sat in a completely relaxed position on the leather sofa. He looked relieved as he explained his Cheesecake Factory outing to the psychiatrist, and its outcome which, while not entirely favorable, wasn't unfavorable either.

The doctor nodded slowly. "How do you feel about this?"

"Proud of myself for going and facing Brian," Chris confessed candidly. "It wasn't easy and there were a few moments where I thought I might say or do the wrong thing, but I was able to talk myself down from disaster. I feel," he paused to search for the right adjective then shrugged, "proud."

"Wonderful," the older man smiled warmly. "What's next?"

Chris considered this. "I have to go face Jenna. I have to see her and tell her how I'm feeling, and that I want to be involved in my son's life."

Dr. Walters raised his pen and pressed it to the indent in his chin. "And what if she says that she doesn't want you in their lives?"

Chris' heart sank at the thought, but he was able to bite his lip and keep from saying anything he might regret. He sighed heavily. "I don't know, doctor. What then? I offer her child support and leave them alone?"

"Christopher," the other man sighed. "I am not asking this to upset you or to in any way diminish your recent successes. I simply want you to consider that, in life, we cannot always have the fairy tale ending. There is a chance that your ex will have moved on with someone else, and just because you are now ready to admit your love for her – and are a stronger man – that does not mean that you get the girl, as they say. I want you to consider this and be prepared for the worst. Hope for the best, expect the worst."

Chris stared across the space at the doctor. "I don't think you're supposed to tell me that!"

"Maybe not," Dr. Walters chuckled. "But this is reality. I want you to understand that your next step is two-fold: 1) speak to your ex and see if she is open to repairing your relationship, 2) establish a relationship with your son. These two goals can be mutually exclusive if they need to be. If your ex is not interested in a relationship, then you must focus on your goal of having your son in your life."

"Okay," Chris nodded slowly. "What if she tells me no?"

Dr. Walters took in a slow, deep breath and then exhaled just as slow. "Well, we cross that bridge if it comes to it, Chris. There is a legal option if you wish to pursue it, but I will forewarn you that this should be a last resort. Once the legal system becomes involved in a family, there is never a good outcome for anyone involved."

Staring down at his fingers and beginning to fidget, Chris nodded slowly. "There's something I didn't tell you yet, because I wanted to say the good things first."

Dr. Walters cocked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"According to her brother, Jenna is currently filing legal paperwork to change Christian's surname. He won't be a Cerulli anymore." Chris did not glance up from the hardwood floor, instead focusing on the grain of the dark wood.