Time To Live

Chapter 20: Collapse

They were seated at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, a grass-covered velvet black box between them on the granite countertop. Chris was gesticulating with his hands as he spoke, a clear sign that he was agitated and nervous. "I do not believe that you did not know that you were dating my guitarist. So, please do not try to tell me that you didn't know. I'm not that stupid and I don't want to be insulted like that."

Jenna pressed a ratted-up Kleenex to her flowing tear ducts and sniffled. "I didn't know."

Inhaling deeply, sitting up straighter and allowing his hands to fall into his lap, her ex shook his head slowly. "Look, trying to discuss this is pointless. I've been through enough therapy at this point to know that you did what you did for your own reasons, and that doesn't mean shit to me. All that matters to me now is my son." He paused and then angled his head toward her, meeting her red and puffy brown eyes. "I want split custody of Christian. I would prefer not to have to go to court and get the legal system involved, but I will do whatever it takes."

"You're giving me an ultimatum?" Jenna gasped, incredulous and heartbroken.

He shrugged. "It is what it is. I want my son in my life."

Her eyes quickly flicked over to the small box that sat between them, and then she began to fidget her fingers, tapping the countertop. "Chris, I don't think that's the best idea. We have a routine and a life without you, and we're doing alright. To shake everything up like this, I just don't know. Can't you be happy with visiting with Christian when time allows?" Even she didn't believe herself as she droned the words in an emotionless monotone. The small amount of time that Chris had returned to their lives had made a huge impact – on her and Christian both. To boot him out would leave a gaping wound all over again.

Without missing a beat in their conversation, Chris actually erupted into laughter that was borderline sadistic. She cringed as he spoke. "You're serious? Are you fucking serious?" he gaped at her. "You wanted me to be a father. You wanted me to be involved in Christian's life. Now that I want that, you're going to try to feed me some bullshit line? Do you realize that Ryan, who drugged you and raped you, has spent more time with my son than I have? That's okay, to allow our son to spend time with a rapist, but not with his own father?"

Jenna opened her mouth several times, then closed it, then opened it again. Speechless, she stared at the ominous black box. "What is that?" she finally pointed to the object.

Before she had even finished the question, he had snatched the offending item off the counter, flicked it open quickly, and waved a massive diamond ring under her nose. "I bought this when we found out you were pregnant, and I intended to ask you to marry me before you stormed out the door and left me. I was going to finally ask you today in front of our families, so that we could raise our son together." When he finished this statement, he slammed the box shut, crushed it in his palm, and tossed it across the room. It hit the tiled backsplash near the fridge, then crashed to the floor.

His head seemed to mimic that box, and it fell to the counter in front of him and she watched his wide, toned shoulders begin to shake. "I did everything fucking right," he sobbed, his voice so damaged. "I went to therapy and turned myself around. I provided for my child and proved that I wanted him in my life. I tried so hard to show you that I do love you and that I want you in my life; that even if I have to settle for just being friends, that I have enough love and respect for you that I can do that."