Fangs and Claws [Boy X Boy]

Chapter 30 Hell

Chapter 30
Hell

"What do you mean we're gonna be pissed?" I frown sitting up in the bed and looking down at him. He sighs heavily, rolling onto his side away from me and facing Colton all while rubbing his hands over his face. Dragging his skin down and groaning like some strange monster he goes quiet for a moment before speaking again.

"Well... I guess I should explain instead of just throwing it at you all at once." He mumbles. Sitting up and leaning against the back of his bed he motions for us to do the same, not speaking until we do so. I sit across from him, my legs crossed and my hands slummed in my lap. I'm biting at my lip thinking about what he has to say, and the thought it could make me angry is making me antsy just waiting.

Colton slums against the back of the bed before bringing one of his knees to his chin and slumping his body against it, sending an interested glance at nic. "What ever you have to say, it won't make us mad." He mutters to nic, trying to calm his nerves. Nic sighs again before beginning to speak.

"We were going back and forth for a while on what we should do. I brought up what you guys suggested and they liked it but pointed out flaws. The biggest of which being who would volunteer for this kind of mission? If I wasn't alpha I doubt I would. And even if people did, who am I to put their lives in danger like that? So after some discussion we decided to seek out volunteers to trail until the end of our lands but after that, only one person will be allowed to continue the pursuit. And um... well I wouldn't allow any one from my pack to do that and the others didn't want anyone from their packs to do it either so... I uh... decided that I would do it..." Nic mumbles the last part, barely above a whisper and avoiding our eyes. I could hardly make out what he said but it takes only a few moments for me to piece together what he meant in my head. I feel a wave of afflicting emotions sweep over me. How am I supposed to react? What am I supposed to say? Do I even truly understand what's going on? To be completely honest I dont and im scared. I think.

Does that mean he will be the one putting his life in danger? Is he saying he will leave us in order to follow the rogues to see what they're doing and where they're going? My blood runs Ice cold as I think about what he just told me. My body is shaking and my mind feels like a bingo cage running at a million miles a second. The information is near over whelming and I dont know how to take it.  All I can do is look at col for some sort of help.

His face is stone like, jaw clenched and eyes sharp. His fist is clenched so tight to the cloth over his knee I feared he would tear it. I can't read his emotions, only one. Pure anger.  As I felt the blood run from my face leaving me pale and ice cold I saw the blood in his body boiling to a rage. Turning his stone white face to that of colour and emotion. Nic was quick to notice as well and the embarrassment and shame spread on his own expression. The guilt radiated off him in waves of force. Each wave a more intense impact of reality and each wave salt to the wound. I could sense their emotions so much easier now and they resonated so loudly inside me. Like the ringing of church bells or the blast of speakers at a concert. The conflit of hatred and anger with guilt and doubt mixed into a deadly poison that seeped into my skin making it harder to breath.

Almost like the flipping of a switch, I felt something inside me change. My head began to feel hot and my muscles started burning. My jaw clenched tight at the sudden overwhelming feeling of anger. It was like my mind was leaving my body. I felt both so light and so heavy at the same time. Both cold and warm at once but above it all, I felt disconnected.

Nic noticed my shift in mood immediately and his mood changed too. His hands were on me quickly, holding my shoulders as he stared me down. "You need to calm down" he told me lowly, his voice booming over me, which instantly made my body cool down and I began to regain control of myself. He's never talked to me like that before and I dont know how to take it. I know he isn't mad but why? I know he asked us not to get mad but that's no reason to order me around suddenly.  His piercing emerald eyes stare into mine almost controlling me to stay calm. As if he read my mind, he answered my questions, "You were losing control. I needed you to calm down before your wolf took over and did something harmful. You're still a newborn, you have a weaker control of yourself." His grip on me loosen before he softly pulls me into a hug. "I'm sorry but I promise everything will be ok just relax." Being held against him helps me to relax more but the recent events still have me confused and lost. What do I do? What can I say to make him not leave us, to keep him safe?