KryozGaming x Reader

Grocery Puns

"What if you woke up one day and I was like, famous on tik tok for being one of those cringy little shits?" John asked you out of no where. You were sitting up on the couch while the youtuber layed across your lap, browsing on his phone. You furrowed your brows and looked down at him. He didn't look at you, instead just kept scrolling on his phone. "I dunno. That depends on what kind of cringy shit you're doing." you answered, going back to your own device. He hummed at your response, silence filling the room again.

"What if I bought a fursuit and did tik toks? Like sexy furry videos?" John piped up again. You laughed at that, setting your phone down. Tangling your fingers in his bleach blonde locks, you looked down at him. "Is there something you aren't telling me, Johnathon?" you questioned softly, continuing to stroke his hair. He placed his phone on his stomach, stretching a little. "Maybe, maybe not. You know I get a little hot at the sight of lizard people with tits." he joked, staring into your (e/c) eyes. He smiled widely up at you wriggling his eyebrows. You pretended to gag, which caused him to laugh at you.

John sat up, standing and walking towards the kitchen. You grabbed your phone, scrolling through twitter. "Hey (y/n)?" John called to you. Without looking from the screen, you called back. "Yeah hon?" He stepped to the kitchen door, leaning against the frame. "We need to get our lives together and actually go grocery shopping." You looked up from your phone for a second, looked back at him and groaned. Grocery shopping was the bane of your existence. The food was overpriced, and even worse, John couldn't keep his mouth shut for 2 seconds. He was too busy making puns. Though, you and John had done nothing but eat takeout and pizza for the last 2 weeks, so it was probably a good idea to.

You stood up, popping your back and shuffling over to your boyfriend. You pressed your face into his chest, groaning loudly again. John chuckled, wrapping his arms around you and squeezing softly. Pecking the top of your head, he pushed you away, moving around you to grab his phone. You looked at him, feigning hurt that he let go of you, scoffing and pretending to cry. "Walk it off, (y/n)." he said, amused. He stepped to his room to get ready for the dreaded trip. You were wearing sweatpants and one of John's t-shirts. Slipping on some flip flops, you waited for him to get ready.

After waiting for what felt like 100 years because John struggled with his bleached locks, ("My hair won't cooperate baby, do it for me."), you two had called an Über and rode to the grocery store. Shopping was a nightmare by itself, but coupled with the idiot you called yours and his game of puns, you were miserable. As soon as you walked past the produce, he grabbed and apple and held it infront of his eye. "Hey, babe, you're the apple of my eye." he grinned cheekily. You rolled your eyes and walked away, making him laugh harder. Sadly, this was not the first pun. "I know this is weird, but I cannot olive without you." and "We're a matcha made in heaven." were memorable ones, and there were plenty more after that.

After picking up groceries, you two stood in line, waiting to check out. Your back was pressed against John's front, his arms wrapped around your waist. You thought about your relationship, and just how much in love with John you were. He was good to you, and you appreciated him, even though his puns got out of hands sometimes. He pecked the top of your head before removing his arms and placing your groceries on the belt for the cashier.

You were almost finished checking out when something caught your eye, and a plan formulated in your mind. Stepping away from John, you picked up an item, barely being able to contain your smile. "Hey John." you said, trying to get his attention. He hummed, not turning to face you. You pouted a bit at him not cooperating. "John look at me." you said, trying to get his attention again. He turned to face you, his eyebrow raised slightly. You grinned, holding up a bag of peanuts. "I'm nuts for you." you said proudly, barely able to contain your laughter. He chuckled at you, shaking his head. "You're an idiot." he said, thumping your forehead. You scoffed playfully, feigning hurt. "But I'm an idiot that you love." you retaliated. He nodded, shrugging his shoulders. "I can't help it, you're cute." he said, walking off with the groceries. You giggled and ran after him. At least you knew he loved you, even if he was aggravating with his puns.