Tate Langdon X OC/ In Bloom A AHS Murder House Fic)

Forgiveness

I've always been cursed. There's something that's just in built into my being. Everything ends the same for me. The only truly good people that I've ever known have died. Everyone else seems to either betray me, lie to me or just be awful human beings in general. But it all ends the same. The story always ends with me... Alone.

I sat playing solitaire at the back of my classroom, counting seconds before I could finally leave. I was wearing a large, baggy T-shirt, black leather trousers, a leather jacket and large black leather boots. My usual aesthetic.
The bell rang and I ran outside without a second thought. I had to get out of there. Spending a whole day in my head was not fun at the moment.
I'd found out there was a party at 9 so I basically just had to figure out what I was doing until then.
I ran home, going straight up to my room. Part of me wanted to just curl up into a ball and cry for a little while. I didn't. I was supposed to be over my depression, things were supposed to be getting better. Now I haven't seen Tate in a couple weeks. I don't know if I want to. I don't know if I can. I know that if I see him I'll just forgive him and I don't know if I can forgive myself for doing that.
Yet, even after all I know - him being a dead serial killer and all - I still couldn't take those cute dimples.... Those big brown orbs... That mop of blonde hair or that innocent smile off my mind.
That's why I'd come up with an alternative. Alcohol, parties, cigarettes... Whatever would numb the pain. I'd never really smoked before, I hated parties, I didn't want to get involved with anyone physically yet and I didn't want to begin taking any type of drug.... But these are habits you pick up when you want nothing more than to avoid thinking. To numb yourself. To forget.
I won't pretend I'm a Saint, I'm not, but I truly need someone in my life who isn't the devil in disguise. I guess I'm drawn to bad people. I'm drawn to the darkness because that's all I've ever known. My father was pure evil, it'd be understandable.

I jumped onto my bed, pulling a bottle out from under my pillow. My mom didn't need to know about that. Nor did my brother. Nor did Tate, for that matter.
I took a swig before placing my hat firmly atop my head.
What was there to do until 9?
A knock sounded from my door, making me jump. My instant response was to shove the bottle under my pillow.
"Come in" I said, lying down to look like I wasn't up to anything.
I didn't notice who it was.
"Hey..." Tate shrugged, looking at me with a sad smile. He looked like he'd been crying and I couldn't help but melt inside.
"What're you doing here?" I asked sharply, making him wince slightly at my words.
"Your mom let me up..." he said not moving from the edge of the room. Usually he'd just bounce in like he owned the place... I guess today he could tell it wasn't the same.
"no, I mean why are you here?"
"You- I came to see you-"
Before he could finish, I interjected with, "Do you mean you came here to see me... Or do you mean that you were already here and you decided it was time to talk?" I asked.
He gave me a look of confusion and terror followed by a sly smile. "So... You know, then?" He asked nervously.
I nodded "Yes Tate. I know that you died thirteen years ago. Because that's a normal fucking sentence to say... Holy shit I think I'm finally losing it" I pulled at my hair, feeling more insane by the second.
"Listen, Rose, just... I get it if you don't want me anywhere near you." He began, tearing up. "If you want me to leave you alone, I will. You never have to see me again if that's what you want... I just want you to be happy. But you're not. Even when I have left you alone. I hate seeing you hurting like this... I hate that I can't do anything to make it better" tears streamed down his face.
This was it. This was the moment I was dreading.
I didn't say a word, I merely walked over and kissed him.
I missed him.