Remembering

Chapter 14

His steady blue eyes stayed locked on mine as I stared aimlessly at his face. "No." I said after a few minutes of silence. "No?" He repeated confused. "No." I said more confidently. His arms unhooked from my waist and he started backing away. "Why not?" He asked angrily. "Didn't you see the interview? Didn't you see how I told the whole fucking world that I am in love with you?" He said, his voice laced with anger. "I saw it." I calmly responded. "Then why won't you be my girlfriend?" His voice was desperate and confused. "Because Luke. When you love someone, you don't play games with them. When you love someone you don't confuse them and tell them awful things about themselves. When you love someone you are kind and compassionate, not cold and indifferent. You do not love me Luke." I said watching his features change with each word. "But don't you get it Dylan? People are expecting us to be together." He said tugging on the roots of his hair. "I mean my whole career could die because of this." he said looking desperately into my eyes. "Maybe you should think about telling the whole world you love someone before you actually know if you are truly in love with them." I coldly said as I reached for my door handle. I noticed his face drop and the slam of my door made him flinch. I put my car in drive and watched as Luke disappeared in my review mirror.
I drove and drove and drove. I passed Jake's diner. I passed campus. I drove into town and saw all the happy couples laughing and kissing. I couldn't take seeing all these perfect couples when the guy I loved was an asshole.
I drove up the windy roads, barely holding it together. I knew Luke was not the guy for me. My head knew it and was desperately trying to get the rest of my body to understand and feel it. My head is screaming no but my heart is screaming yes.
Ah the typical story for a girl in a cliché love story. My conscious laughed. If you follow your heart you will get hurt. She warned. Remember last time you chose to ignore me? She taunted. My eyes welled with tears as I remembered the horrible day.
When I was senior in high school, I fell in love with a guy that I never thought I was "in his league." He was gorgeous and athletic. I hadn't had much experience with guys and he was exciting. Every time I was around him I had butterflies. He looked at me how every girl wants to be looked at, with a twinkle in his eye and a smile that was radiant. He would hold my hand and play with my hair. He would come over to my house and we could just talk. He was my first love. I gave everything I had to him. He introduced me to his friends and they were all really nice. But it all changed one day. He took me to one of my first parties and told me I didn't have to drink or anything. He said if I was uncomfortable, we could leave. He smiled at me and we walked in together. He greeted his guy friends and the girls all gave me hugs. We got separated and I didn't think anything of it. I just figured he was with his friends and I shouldn't bug him too much.

After not seeing him for an hour or so I went looking for him. I couldn't find him anywhere and that's when my world came crumbling down. I opened the bathroom door and I walked in on him and some girl. He looked at me with blood shot eyes and smiled.

Flashback:
"Well hey there Dylan." he hiccuped. "What the hell are you doing Tristan?" I asked with tears in my eyes. "Just screwing her. Wanna join?" He asked. With all the strength I could muster, I slapped him hard in the face and ran away from the appalling scene. Once I reached the front yard, I sprinted down the street and stopped. "Mom?" I cried into the phone. "Can you come pick me up?"

2 days later.
The doorbell screeched. "Can you get that honey?" My mom called. I rolled my eyes and set my pencil down. I opened the door and an awkward Tristan looked at the ground. He handed me a single rose and I took it from his hands. I threw it as far as I could and he looked at me sadly. "How long." I said looking at him. "Dylan-" "How. Long." I said through gritted teeth. He stared at the ground and mumbled an incoherent response. "What." I raised my voice. "Since the beginning of our relationship." He said louder, his glossy eyes meeting mine. I choked and struggled to keep the tears back. "What." I whispered. "Dylan." he said moving towards me. "No!" I screamed. "Don't touch me you dirty, fucking cheater!" I hit him on the chest. "How could you?" I screamed. "How could you? How could you?" I kept repeating, the tears and anger consuming me each time. "You played me! You took everything from me! I gave you my virginity! I told you things and I trusted you! But you lied!" I screamed even louder. He looked at me sadly and a few tears drop from his eyes. "You are disgusting! I hate you!" I screamed covering my face with my hands. "Dylan." he said again and I cried harder. "No! I can't trust you. You lie and you cheat. You are not compassionate and you don't care about anyone other than yourself." I screamed. "I care about you." he tried again. "Stop talking! Everything you say is a fucking lie!" I slammed the door shut and my mom came rushing towards me.

End of flashback

I let the tears consume me. I trusted him and he tricked me. He used me and then disposed of me. Everything Luke has done over the past few months has reminded me of Tristan.

"I trust you." I managed to say through my sobs.
Good. Because honey, he is trouble with a capital T. my conscious warned me.