Roaming in Seoul |BTS|

2 | Past

I used to have some friends in London. We were a team of 7. Me, and 6 other girls. We would do anything together, from shopping to studying, from sleepovers to road trips with our families. I felt like I had found my long lost sisters and I would never trade their friendship for anything in this world. That's how I value friends.

Then, one day in 9th grade, everything changed.

Alissa, one the girls of the group, was the first one to have a boyfriend. She had started going out with him in early October.

After two months of them dating, I started receiving questionable messages from him. He was flirting with me. No doubt about that. I got so anxious, I didn't want to hurt Alissa's feelings. How could I tell her?

Even after two week of trying to avoid him and constantly reminding him that he was in a relationship with my best friend, he still wouldn't stop. I threatened him that I would tell Alissa.

So I did. I told Alissa. But what came after that was a punch in the stomach.

" I know you have been hitting on my boyfriend. He told me everything. How you are jealous of me and how you got a crush on him. I mean I get it, I'm prettier than you but I didn't know you could be such a bitch. ,,

Every single word she shouted in the school corridors was stinging my heart.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I tried convincing her that he was lying to her, even by showing the messages he had sent me. But she didn't believe me, she believed him.

After 4 years of friendship, Alissa didn't think twice before cutting ties with me and spreading lies among the girls. Everyone, no exceptions, believed her. They didn't even let me explain what had happened, giving me such names as "slut" and "bitch".

I lost my 6 best friends that day. At least, that's what I thought they were.

I spent my Christmas vacation crying in my room with my mum, who was tirelessly trying to calm me down, to soothe the pain in my heart and the weight that fell heavy on my shoulders. If you think I was over dramatic, don't. Do you know what betrayal feels like? What losing the only people you could count on does to your brain? It shutters it. It destroys you.

I had to spent everyday for the rest of the school year in the library, trying to forget about them, trying to avoid their disgusted gazes. News travel fast though, fake news even faster, and no one wanted to hangout with me at school, except for my brother, who would join me during lunch, trying to make me feel better.

Over the months, I became introverted and shy, avoiding the public eye. I was rarely invited to parties since I would go unnoticed and the rest of the students thought I was boring or a bad person for what I had done to my best friend.

I hated everyone. I despised school.

I was alone.

Until I met Jess during summer.

She had seen me at school since she also was a loner, but hadn't approached me until then.

She was the friend that I needed. Sweet, smart, willing to listen to me and give me good advice. She never left my side.

" You can always count on me. ,,

She would tell me.

Jess helped me get through 10th grade, making my school life easier. And for that, I'm forever grateful.

Once I told her that I was moving to Seoul, she was more excited than I was. She was the reason I started thinking about changing who I am for the better, and doing a fresh start. She convinced me that I had to open my wings and live, enjoy life and experience new things.

To do that, I knew I had to push myself a little bit, in order to get out of my comfort zone. I wanted to become confident, courageous, extroverted. But I knew it wouldn't be easy.

►◄

"You what?!" Jess's voice echoed in my room. I smiled at the screen, watching Jess cup her face in disbelief, mouth agape.

"I'm going out with someone." I repeated biting my lips nervously.

"Oh my God!" Jess screamed once more. The surprise was evident in her face.

"What is he like? Handsome? Smart? " She continues.

"Um, both I would say." I replied chuckling, feeling my cheeks heating up. After a short pause, I added hesitantly "There's someone else too."

"Huh? What do you mean?" She asks worryingly.

"His name is Jimin and he's gorgeous. But, he caught my attention because of his shyness, mainly. He kinda reminded me of myself back in London." I say hesitantly, my hands trailing off to the silver rings Yoongi gave me. To say that I feel confused is an understatement.

"Well okay, but haven't we talked about this? You have to move on. Stop getting stuck in the past. Surround yourself with strong people." Her voice echoes in my room sounding sure, reasonable.

"There's something about him though." I reply running my fingers through my hair.

"Since he's so shy, he'll have to wait. Now tell about the guy you're going on a date with." She replied nodding, urging me to talk about Yoongi, even though I had someone else in my mind.

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