Roaming in Seoul |BTS|

8 | Oops

Yoongi:
I had a lot of fun yesterday, hope you did too.

That was the first thing I saw on my phone screen when I woke up the next day of the party. Completely disregarding it, I went through my rest notifications, hoping to also spot another guy's name. My fingers were trembling, eyes half closed not adjusted to the light yet.

No message from Jimin. To be honest, I don't know why I was expecting him to text me, since we didn't exchange another word for the rest of the night. Not that Yoongi would let me, of course. One moment, he would be right be next to me, as if he was supervising my moves, which kind of annoyed me. And then, he would completely disappear for a good 10 to 15 minutes. So odd.

Despite all that, I couldn't just pretend that I didn't feel flattered by him.

Me:
Good morning Yoongi. Yeah, I had a great time as well.

I did. He was a good company after all, but the butterflies in my stomach kept insisting that he wasn't the only reason of yesterday's success. After all, Jimin was there too. Even though I don't see him as anything more than a friend, recalling my favorite moments from the party, I come to understand that they were with him. And now, the butterflies in my stomach were replaced by something a lot heavier and negative, guilt.

Yoongi:
Oh great you're up.

Suddenly my phone starts buzzing and my eyes shoot open when I realize that he's face timing me. Swiftly getting up from my bed, I head to the mirror, briefly fix my hair, open the curtains slightly and and press the green button on the screen.

"Hey, sleeping beauty." Yoongi smiles. He was wearing a black hat that almost hid his eyes and a loose black t-shirt. Although he seemed hungover, he was still breathtakingly handsome.

"Good morning." I muttered, my voice sounding raspy, not fully having woken up.

"We're gonna crash at Taehyung's place in a few hours, wanna join?"

"Um sure. Just send me the address and I'll be there."

I don't want to lie, the thought that I could see Jimin gave me hope that he'll talk to me, that he will smile to me the same way he did the fist time I saw him.

...

"Here you are!" Taehyung shouts as he opens the door to his apartment when he sees me. I offer him a bottle of wine that I had gotten from a store near his house. Taehyung didn't seem rich, contrary to Namjoon. In fact, I could tell he was struggling to make ends meet just by walking five minutes from the bus station to his home. It was a dark, almost empty road with some abandoned looking houses contrary to the multiple huge mansions in Namjoon's neighborhood.

I found it impressive how these guys came together as friends, when there are such huge social gaps. Especially in South Korea, where you're considered a superior human being to others if you're financially not only stable, but thriving. However, this wasn't the case with these five boys. At all.

"Come inside we're making food." Taehyung welcomed me and I stepped into his simple apartment. The first person that I noticed was Yoongi, sitting on the couch watching something on the tv. The moment he sees me he gets up and heads towards me with a grin on his tired looking face.

"You look pretty." He complimented my appearance, which consisted of a casual denim skirt and a white crop top. He reached his arm to my waist, pulled me closer and kissed my cheek, an action that definitely caught me by surprise.

That exact moment Jimin steps out of a room and glances towards me and Yoongi looking.. rather uncomfortable I'd say. Without realizing, I move away from Yoongi causing him to frown, and I approach Jimin, who was now helping Jungkook in the kitchen.

"Hey Jimin." I say trying to gather all my courage. I could feel the tension between us. It was insane, especially when there's nothing going on between me and him. I could also see how insecure he was feeling, which reminded me of my supposedly older self.

"Hey" He replies in a flat disinterested voice that straight away discourages me and goes back to helping Jungkook.

I've never really been the type of person to make a first move or get out of my comfort zone to challenge myself. It's emotionally draining how desperately I'm trying to kick away my past habits.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, please?" I almost whisper, failing to look confident as I had wished.

Jimin squeezes his lips together into a fine line, making it clear that he was debating of whether it's a good idea to grant me that one minute. It hurt.

"Okay." He said under his breath as he turned his back to me and began walking towards one door in Taehyung's apartment.

Silently, I followed him not failing to spot Yoongi's wandering eyes on me.

"What is it?" Jimin asked looking at me dead in the eyes as I closed the door behind me. We were in Taehyung's room. The tension suddenly became evident the moment we had eye contact.

"I.. Want to apologize for yesterday." I say hesitantly. To be honest, I don't know what I wanted to tell him. We're not together, we're friends and in the end my interest in Yoongi has nothing to do with him.

"I don't know what you're sorry for. You like Yoongi like you said, good for you. There's nothing going on between us." He replies with a straight face. To say that didn't feel like a stab in my heart would be a lie. Why does it feel like this? He told me exactly what I think. Did I expect him to say something else? I'm not entirely sure.

I knew I was looking at him so intensively, almost hungrily, but I couldn't stop myself from doing so. By taking a step forward I could smell his sweet aroma and the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat. I almost felt drunk, unable to control my thoughts and emotions.

This isn't me, and I don't know what's happening to me. I feel so different from what I was back in London and that was undoubtedly empowering. I knew I was wrong, but to be honest, I wanted to be. For once in my life, I didn't want to be the person getting hurt or rejected. I wanted to feel the adrenaline rush of risking it. I wanted to feel strong among others socially. This was the new me.

Jimin didn't move one bit. He stayed there frozen, in front of me, with a confused look on his face.

One step closer.

I could almost feel the warmth of his well-built body. His aroma was so enticing, so appealing that it made him tempting. And by watching this cute innocent boy in front of me, looking rather inexperienced but still intrigued, it made want to do only one thing.

Kiss him.

My lips touch his and my hands wander in his hair ending up around his neck. Jimin finally responds as he wraps his arms around my waist and goes deeper for the kiss. For a moment this was heaven. Then he moves away.

"No we can't, I can't." He exclaims as he runs his fingers though his hair before he continues.

"What are you doing? You're with him now. It doesn't matter what I feel 'cause Yoongi always gets what he wants."

I didn't reply. I couldn't.

He takes a deep breath and then storms out of the room. I go after him and see him grabbing his phone and keys, and before I say another word, he's out of Taehyung's apartment.