Roaming in Seoul |BTS|

6 | The Party

Being alone is often confused with loneliness. The first one, is an individual's own choice, to detach from the crowd and devote some time to themselves. The other one though, is not something desirable. It could actually be one of the worst feelings in the world. The feeling of having no one by your side, even if you want to.

A bright example for the first situation would be Jimin. I've lost track of times I've seen him wandering alone in the school corridors, headphones attached to his ears and dreamy eyes full of ambition. Although he has friends that care about him and love him, he is the one that chooses to spend some school breaks at the library.

Something I used to do in London. But, contrary to Jimin, I had no other choice. Before Jess, there was no one at school that would invite me to eat with them during lunch, hang out at their place or even say something more than a simple hey. After the fight with my friends, I felt alone, left out, an outcast.

Despite the social circumstances I found myself identifying with Jimin, more and more everyday. His shy and introverted character reminded me of my self, which is something that actually made me worried.

I would find myself be willing to spend more time with Jimin than Yoongi and I felt somehow guilty. So I tried to hide it. Every time that I would feel safer and more comfortable next to Jimin, I would challenge myself to be more like Yoongi, more confident, brave, even arrogant at times. Even though I tried not to overthink about it, I felt torn between my former self and who I wanted to be.

Friday, 19/08/2018

"So, what are you wearing?" Jess's excited voice echoed from my phone.

"I was thinking of something sexy, black leather plants with a crop top and some heels." I reply playfully opening my closet.

"Someone wants to draw all the attention tonight with that hot body." Exclaimed Jess.

"You should wear red lipstick too." She adds.

"You think?" I ask her, starting feeling a little bit uneasy about my appearance.

"Go hard or go home!" She chuckles.

After getting dressed, clothes and make up on point, I stare myself in the mirror of my cozy little room. I wouldn't really say that I feel that comfortable being that revealing, but I'm sure that I'll make a good impression.

"Gyllene are you- Wow!" Addo says in shock and shakes his head, unable to process my unusual look.

"You look good, at least presentable by my side." He adds joking. "Come on Taehyung and Jungkook are picking us up at 9."

Heading outside to wait for the couple, I'm met with my mother's disappointing gaze. Although she was opposed to me going, I had my dad by my side this time who supported me in going to Namjoon's party.

I feel like my mum knows somehow that I'm being out of my comfort zone going to a party. It's the mother's instinct.

►◄

The moment me and the boys arrive outside Namjoon's house, I start feeling extremely anxious, like I'm going to throw up. I instantly spot dozens of people standing outside, on the porch, drinking, smoking, laughing or making out with each other. The music in the house, or should I say the villa, is loud enough to be heard outside.

As we approach the entry, all eyes of the people that were standing outside land on us. Taehyung and Jungkook are greeted by the drunk sweaty people, that compliment them on their looks.

The smell of alcohol reeking in the huge interior of Namjoon's house made me feel sick once again when we got in. It was a mess. Plastic cups were thrown on the ground, its substance spilled on the floor, bottles of vodka, tequila and Malibu were standing empty on top of tables or were shattered into pieces. Countless of bodies could be seen dancing hysterically to the loud and obnoxious music on the dance floor.

I couldn't possibly describe how uncomfortable I was feeling. I gulped when I realized that I probably shouldn't be here.

"You look amazing in black" a familiar voice echoes in my ear and I turn around to see no other but Yoongi. The mixed smell of alcohol and smoke coming from him was too strong for me to be disregarded.

"Thank you. You look great too" I simply answer complimenting him on his total back outfit. He had chosen a black button-up shirt with black jeans.

"Now that you are here, it's time to introduce you to people from school." He adds smiling, holding my hand gently and directing me to a group of students in the kitchen, where the small buffet was.

"Guys, this is Gyllene. Gyllene this is Erika, Joe.." Yoongi continued telling me a bunch of names I knew I wouldn't be able to remember the next day. My eyes wandered in the dark room looking for a particular blond guy, who was nowhere to be found. Everyone I knew was there, Namjoon, Taehyung, Jungkook, Yoongi, even Addo, but not Jimin.

"Wanna drink something?" Yoongi asks me gesturing the half full bottle of Malibu on the kitchen counter.

"Um, sure." I reply. Even though I don't tend to drink, one glass wouldn't hurt. Since I had nothing better to do in here, that is. Yoongi empties the bottle in two cups, one for him and the other for me

Swallowing the warm liquid from my cup I instantly get a warm, almost burning feeling in my throat down to my stomach.

"Strong, right?" He shouts over the repetitive music.

I nod in agreement laughing and sipping more.

"I'm really happy you showed up." Yoongi says holding my waist gently, his cold fingers on my bare skin sending shivers down my spine.

"I am too." I reply in an undeniably flirty way putting my hand on his shoulder.

His body instantly stiffens and I look up to see the infamous blond guy, making his way out of the dancing crowd into the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry I'm late" Jimin says fixing his hair. Black ripped jeans were hugging his strong muscled legs and a loose white T-shirt was exposing his collarbones.

Namjoon, the couple and my brother jump on him to greet him, once they noticed that he has arrived. On the other hand, Yoongi's hold on my waist becomes stronger and I look up to him, only to see an arrogant expression on his face. He only waves at Jimin, who does the exact same thing.

"Yoongi, let's go dance!" I hear a feminine voice behind us and we turn around to see a drunk Erika, the girl he introduced me to earlier before slightly moving to the music's beat.

Without looking too interested, Yoongi murmurs a sure, taking her hand leading him into the crowd. Before disappearing, he looks back to me shouting "I'll see you in a while!"

Once the rest of the guys grab a partner and head for the dance floor as well, Jimin approaches me hesitantly.

"Wanna dance?"