Always & Forever (A 'The Last Of Us' Fanfic)

Chapter 30

Joel tuned everything out once the doctor had told him that he was going to be a father. Dr. Vega started going into the next steps he and Roxanne would have to take but he wasn't paying attention. As much as he hoped that there would be the slightest possibility that he'd become a father, hearing it out loud had him in disbelief. His mind went to Beth. This was going to crush her and he knew it. It didn't matter how many times she had told him that she'd stick by him no matter what, he knew better than that. He couldn't have her take responsibility for this. It would be low of him to expect her to share the weight in all of this. This was a result of his carelessness...not hers. She didn't deserve this. In fact, he would never understand why she'd stay with him after all this. She was too good for him...and he would eventually need to set her free. He wasn't going to hold her back. It didn't matter what promises they had made to each other before, he was not going to be the reason she didn't live her life like she was meant to. And that was up in New York, being a successful photographer. But he knew that when she left, his heart would remain heavy for as long as he lived.

Beth saw Joel and Roxanne making their way out and she stood up. Joel had been stunned from the moment he received the news but the second he saw Beth, he changed his expression immediately. It was hard for Beth to read Joel's expression. She'd always been able to.

"Well?" Beth asked once they got closer.

"I'll see you later, Roxanne," Joel said as he grabbed Beth's hand and led them back outside.

Roxanne smiled victoriously. She had won and she knew it.

"What happened?" Beth asked once they were outside.

Joel didn't answer. Instead he kept pulling her along until they got to his truck.

"Joel. Talk to me. Please. What did the doctor say?" she asked.

Joel went and opened the door for her then quickly went to the driver's side. She wasn't liking this silent treatment he was giving her. Why couldn't he just tell her what happened? She got in but didn't close the door.

"Close the door, Beth," Joel said softly.

"Not until you talk to me," she retorted crossing her arms.

Joel sighed.

"It's...it's mine," he said flatly.

"Okay. Why didn't you just tell me that back in there?" she asked.

He looked over at her.

"I'm sorry...I'm...so...so sorry," he said as his voice began to break.

She closed the door and pulled him toward her.

"Why are you apologizing?" she asked.

"I should have never gone to that party. I should have gone to you the second you left with Tommy. I wanted you and only you to be the mother of my children," he admitted.

Beth fought back the tears that were on the verge of falling down.

"You mean that?" she managed to get out.

"Of course I mean that. Are still not sure about how much I love you?" he asked taking her face in his hands and staring into her eyes.

"Of course not. I had no idea that you feel just as I do," she said letting a tear fall.

Joel gasped and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

"I fucked everything up," he said.

"No you didn't, Joel. Cause I'm still here. And I'm not going anywhere. We'll raise the baby together. I'll get a job here...I'll find something. We'll make this work. I promise," she said kissing his forehead.