Always & Forever (A 'The Last Of Us' Fanfic)

Chapter 32

New Year's Eve

Joel had spoken to Don a few weeks after he and Beth told him about the baby. He had assured her father that he had no intention of holding Beth back. He too wanted her to go to New York and he had asked her father to give him time to tell her to go. Don agreed. Roxanne and Kathy had met and had gotten to know each other. Kathy found her nice but she would never admit that she liked Beth a whole lot better. Out loud at least. Every person that was important to them took time to really process the information they had been given. Everything was okay now. Beth and Joel were good. Beth had completely put the thought of New York behind her and Joel knew this. He was going to tell her to go tonight and at the same time, he was going to let her go. He had held her back long enough and he wasn't going to keep that up any longer. These past months had been shaky to say the least, the baby and Roxanne getting bigger with each month but regardless of it all, Joel had been so lucky to have Beth at his side. But now was the time that he needed to let her chase her dream. It was going to hurt him more than anything ever had. Even more than his old man leaving him and his family behind. But this was something that he had to do. Joel had informed Don that he'd be telling her everything tonight and Don thanked him and wished him luck. New York would be calling her sometime next month and she needed to have her mind set on going. She just had to.

Kathy had thrown a party to welcome the New Year. Some friends and family had come over and were partying it up. Beth and Joel were on the dance floor swaying to the slow music that was currently being played. She rested her head on his shoulder and moved in circles with him. Joel looked over at Don and with one nod, Joel knew that the time had come.

"Hey, let's get out of here, huh?" he whispered in her ear.

She smiled and looked up at him.

"I'm down," she said.

He took her hand and led her outside.

Roxanne was among the guests there at the party. She watched with a stink eye as Joel and Beth left the house together. She had been wanting to tell them both that she was ready to take responsibility and give motherhood a try. As she got bigger, she couldn't help but fall in love with the idea of holding the baby. Seeing some of her and some of Joel in the baby every time she looked at him or her put a smile on her face every time she thought about it. She didn't want to know the gender of the baby because she wanted to be surprised. Joel had wanted to know but she had begged him to wait til the baby was born. He didn't like it but he agreed to it nonetheless. It wasn't often that she and Joel were alone together. Beth was always at his side and that annoyed the hell out of her. She wanted to tell Beth that she was not going to be her baby's mother. She wanted to rub it in her face until Beth finally understood that she would never be the mother. Roxanne would fight for this baby if she had to. Beth was not going to be the one to raise him or her. And when Beth finally knew, there was no way that she'd stay with Joel. They'd have to break-up. She was looking forward to that day as her due date got closer.

"What to do?" Beth asked when they were outside.

"Oh. I know! My place is currently vacant and well, a little hanky panky before the New Year wouldn't be a bad thing," she said as she got closer to her place.

"Actually, can we just talk for a bit," Joel said taking her hand and leading her to the back of his truck.

He climbed onto the bed of the truck and helped her up. She curled up next to him and looked up at the sky.

"We haven't been to our spot in a couple of weeks. I think a visit is about due," she said looking over at him.

He was still looking up at the sky.

"Joel?" she said.

"I heard you...Beth. You have to take that job in New York," he said flatly.

She sat up and just looked at him.

"What?" she asked shocked.

"The reason I didn't want you calling them was because I didn't want you telling them that you weren't gonna take it. Because the truth is, you have to, Beth. You have to take it," he said finally meeting her eyes.

"I thought we had talked about this already, Joel. I'm staying here with you. We'll be okay," she said placing her hand on his cheek.

He grabbed it and kissed the back of it.

"But you won't be. You're gonna regret not taking it and then you'll resent me for it," he said.

"Joel, I could never do that. Never in a million years," she said.

"I've told you this before, babe and I'll say it again. I don't want to hold you back. You have so much potential that you'd be robbing the world of if you didn't stick to it. You're not meant to stay here, Beth. You won't be happy," he said.

"I'm happiest when I'm with you," she argued.

He placed one of his hands on her cheeks and pulled her in to give her a deep kiss.

"And you've made me the happiest person in town. I love you. I love you more than you'll ever know. So...as much as it pains me, I have to let you go," he said.

"What does that mean? You're not...breaking up with me are you?" she asked as her voice started to shake.

"I...I don't know what else to do that'll convince you to go," he said.

"Anything but that, Joel. You can't...we can't...you're too important to me," she said.

"So are you. You told me to promise to always be honest with you. That's what I'm doing. I honestly want you to have a life in New York. I don't want us to break-up. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do but the thought of you not doing what you love has been eating me up inside since the day you told me about that opportunity. I mean, the chance to work as a professional photographer in the city you love while attending the college of your dreams. Why would you ever want to pass that up for an ordinary life with me and a baby that's not yours?" he said.

"Because I love you, Joel. I thought that was made pretty obvious. Nothing you do or say would ever make me leave you," she said.

He nodded and braced himself for what he was about to do. He didn't want to do this but she wouldn't listen any other way. He had to break her heart. It was the only way that she would go without a second thought. He stood up and got off the truck.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"There's nothing left to say, Beth. This is goodbye," he said softly.

She was stunned.

"Quit screwing around, Joel. That's not funny," she said getting off the truck as well.

"You won't listen to me any other way so...it's over, Beth," he said.

He was fighting as hard as he could to keep a straight face without breaking down.

"You just said that breaking up was the last thing you wanted to do," she said.

"You won't change your mind otherwise, so we're done," he said turning around to head back to the house.

"Don't say that. You don't mean that," she said but he kept walking.

"Joel!" she called.

He wasn't stopping so she went to catch up to him.

"I don't want to break-up, Joel. I want you. Always and forever," she said.

Instead of answering her, he kissed her forehead.

"Have fun in New York," he said.

He moved past her and entered the house.