Letters to Olivia [A SVU and Bensler FanFic]

five

September 6th

So I heard that Aunt Alex took you to work the other day? Did you have fun and decide you want to be a lawyer just like her? Or did you finally decide that being a detective like me and your Mommy is the best option? I'm just teasing you, my love. I know that you had a cold and weren't feeling well. I just needed to try and be funny, because, in my line of working, you just can't joke about everything... Alright, my love, I'm going to go to work, but tonight, after we have our weekly call, I'll finish this up by telling you once again how much I love you, and how much I miss you.

Elliot sat in a police bar near the precinct and waited for Amanda to show up. He needed to know if she had had any contact with Olivia before they went to the hospital. If she knew about a possible letter. Because if Olivia had been saying goodbye to him, maybe she had been saying goodbye to others also.

"Hey, sorry to leave you waiting. I had to wait until my husband got home before I could leave." Amanda sighed. She kissed Elliot's cheek before sitting down. She pointed at Elliot's beer, and the bartender handed her one.

"How was work?" Elliot asked, and Amanda shrugged.

"It was work. Fin's getting really good at being a nice CO and not one who is a dick, so that's good." Amanda spoke. She was wishing that Olivia was still her boss because she was just so damn perfect at that job.

"Good." Elliot breathed, before taking a drink from his beer. He looked over at Amanda and sighed.

"I have to ask you a question."

"Okay, shoot." Amanda smiled softly.

"Did Liv call you the day she went into labor?" He asked, and Amanda hated even thinking about that day. She was happy she had a niece but upset that she lost her best friend.

"She did, but it was before she was in labor, I think..." Amanda trailed off.

"Mandy, she called you another time, didn't see?"

"El-"

"I found this in the bathroom. It's a letter from here. She knew she was dying, but she didn't say anything to me about it. I didn't know if she was going through and tying up loose ends before she left us." Elliot frowned, as he passed the letter to Amanda. Since he found that letter, he had read it nearly 100 times. He saw the tear stains on the page, and some of her writing was smeared, as usual when she would write quickly.

Amanda opened the letter and read it. She started to cry when she read her name on the page, and when she realized that the voicemail from her that she hasn't even checked yet, must've been her goodbye.

"She called me, El. I was on a date with Sonny and I didn't answer it. I should've! I haven't even had the heart to listen to the message! I just kept it on my phone..." Amanda whispered as she passed it back to Elliot. She wiped at her tears, before pulling out her phone. 

She looked through her voicemails and swallowed hard when she saw the one from Olivia.

"Are you going to listen to it?" Elliot asked, and Amanda nodded.

"I am, but I can't in front of you. Not right now. I'm sorry."

-=-

Amanda drove away from the bar so Elliot wouldn't follow her. She parked her car and hit the voicemail from her best friend. She held it to her ear, and after it went through her message to those who called, Olivia spoke.

"Hey, Mandy. I'm sorry that I'm calling you again, but I need to say some stuff to you. I'm dying, I swear. I'm bleeding and even if I try to be positive, I can't. I want to tell you that no matter what you did, how much trouble you got into that made me work harder, I still loved you. You are my best friend, and one of the women I need to be in my daughter's life. I need you to look after her, make sure she has a woman in her life to talk to. And I need you to check on my husband every once and awhile. He'll kick you out of his life, but you just gotta go back and try again. That's how I got him to marry me. I gotta go, Amanda. I love you so much, and if I happen to make it, which I really don't think I will, I need you to always remember that." The call ended, and Amanda was sobbing.

Hearing the voice of her dead friend was way too much for her. It may have been 8 years, but living in a world without Olivia Benson for 8 years was something she never wanted to have to do, but it happened.

Amanda listened to the voicemail over and over again until her phone died in the middle of her voice.

She set her phone down, before wiping the tears from her cheeks.

She started to wonder about the others. Nick, Alex, Fin, Sonny, Barba, and even Casey. She was wondering if they had gotten the same call, the same heartbreaking goodbye from her.

-=-

"Daddy, can I sleep in here?" Olivia asked as she came into her father's bedroom. She had her blanket and teddy bear in hand.

"Of course, come here," Elliot spoke, his voice deeper than usual from the fact he had fallen asleep for a few hours before his daughter woke him up.

Olivia climbed onto the bed and surprised her father when she didn't cuddle close to him. She laid on her mother's side of the bed and cuddled close to her pillow. Elliot watched and swallowed hard.

"She smells like vanilla, Daddy."

"It was her favorite scent. No matter whatever else I bought her, she always used that one. Shampoo, conditioner, body spray, lotion. You name it, and it smelt like vanilla." Elliot spoke, as he reached out and pushed Olivia's messy bangs from her forehead.

"I wish she was here with us..." She whispered, and Elliot nodded.

"I do too."

Hey guys, so do you want to hear what Olivia would've said to the others, or just continue with the story and leave those ones out? Please vote and comment all of your feedback below, and thanks for reading! :D