Letters to Olivia [A SVU and Bensler FanFic]

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A/N This letter is written by Elliot_Sebastian_! Please show him some love, and if you all want to get involved, please start writing those letters!

February 7th

Livvie, I just want to remind you how much your mommy loved you. Today's her birthday, so make sure to give Aunt Alex and Aunt Amanda big hugs today and remind them how much you love them. Today is a rough day for anyone who knew mommy. And remember that I love you a lot and you make me so proud. Hearing your voice last week was amazing, and I'm sorry I had to cut the call short, but duty called, so I had to go. Hopefully, I'll be able to see you soon and give you a big hug. I love you to the moon and back, and I'll write soon.

xoxo,

Daddy

A week after Elliot showed Olivia the house, his daughter decided she wanted nothing more than to live in the house her mother lived in. So Elliot gathered up all of his stuff and the stuff of his daughter and moved back into the home that didn't feel like a home since his wife died.

"Daddy!" Olivia squealed, as she came running down from upstairs, and into the kitchen. Elliot was still putting away the groceries he bought, and Olivia had been upstairs playing with her toys since they got home.

"Yes, my love?" Elliot asked as he placed the milk into the fridge.

"Is this what Mommy looked like?" Olivia asked as she showed him a picture she drew. Elliot picked his daughter up and sat her on the counter, before looking at the picture.

His daughter had drawn a picture of her mother, herself, and himself. They all had dark brown hair, but two of them had the Stabler blue eyes. Elliot was thankful that she and did the whole family, and not just them. Liv is just as much a part of their family, whether or not if she's here or not.

"This is beautiful, Livvie." Elliot smiled, as he walked over to the fridge and grabbed a butterfly magnet. He put the magnet on the picture and then to look at his daughter. She was smiling largely because she was so very proud of the picture she drew of her family.

"Mommy would've liked it, right?" She questioned, as Elliot helped her off of the counter, and went back to putting away the groceries.

"She would've loved it, Olivia. Why don't you go draw some more, and I'll come to check on you when I'm done." Elliot smiled, and his daughter nodded.

She was too young to realize that the reason why her father sent her off was that he was starting to cry. It was harder than he thought. Moving into the home where everything was how Liv had wanted it was hard. He wanted to cry for the rest of his life, but after having a late night conversation with Fin, he knew he had to just keep moving.

-=-

Two Days Before

"So, Livvie's with Mandy again?" Fin asked as he and Elliot sat in a cop bar, well the cop bar where Elliot had kissed his wife for the first time.

"Yeah. I needed to calm down a bit before starting to move our stuff into the house tomorrow, and then the big move the day after is hard." Elliot sighed, as he grabbed his beer and downed what was left in it. He slid it forward, and the bartender sat another one in front of him.

"Are you sure you want to live there?" Fin asked.

"It's where Liv wanted us to live. We were going to raise our kid there, but then she had to die."

Fin and Elliot laughed a bit. If Liv had had any say about dying, she wouldn't have. Something just went wrong, so very wrong.

"Do you ever just have something happen, and you ask yourself what Olivia might do?" Fin asked, and Elliot nodded.

"Yeah, and I know that once Livvie gets older, I'll be asking me that all the time. Like how do I approach all of those hard topics?"

"I have no idea. I have a son, and he didn't even like me until recently. So just ask those blondes that your wife kept around all the time."

"I hope that they can help me because I can't do this all alone."

"You know I can help you too." Fin smiled, and Elliot laughed softly.

"Good, cause I need help moving a mattress and some furniture into Livvie's room. She needs something that isn't a crib, and I don't think she wears diapers anymore." Elliot laughed.

It was a good talk for both of them because they got to laugh. No one seems to laugh anymore, because the person that brought them the most happiness, the one who was always there for everything, wasn't even here anymore.

-=-

Present

"Dinner!" Elliot called, as he sat Livvie's bowl on the table. He could hear his daughter running down the stairs, but when she got into the living room, he heard her trip and fall. She cried out for him, and Elliot sprinted into the living room where the most precious person in his life was.

"Daddy, I hurt my knee!" Olivia cried, and Elliot frowned as he knelt down on the floor next to her. He drew her into his arms and placed her on his lap. He kissed her hair as he tried to figure out what he should do. His daughter rarely got hurt, and now she was sitting on his lap crying, while a little blood showed through the rip in her tights.

"It's okay. Come on, I'll get you a bandage, and then we can eat some dinner."

"A rainbow bandage, Daddy?"

"Of course. Come on."

Elliot carried his daughter up the stairs and into his bathroom. He sat her on the counter and searched for a bandage. He opened one cabinet and stopped when he sat Elliot's name on a dusty envelope.

"Daddy! My knee is really bleeding!" Olivia yelled. Elliot quickly grabbed the letter, before grabbing the box of bandages. He took out a bandage and put it on his daughter's scrape, before kissing her forehead gently.

"There you go." 

"Thank you, Daddy," Livvie whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

-=-

Later that night, Elliot sat in his bedroom. He could still smell his wife in that room, and it helped him sleep at night. He picked up the letter and started to read it.

Elliot,

When you find this, you are going to be shocked. I know you are. But Elliot, I know that I'm not doing too good. I've been in labor for several hours, and I'm starting to bleed more than normal. You are downstairs making me tea, and for some reason, I feel like I know I'm not going to be here with you and our daughter. I can feel her moving in my stomach, but this is the only bit I'll ever know of her. You will walk her down the aisle when she gets married, and you'll be cheering her on at graduation. Let alone all of the other firsts that only you will get to witness first hand.

Look in my jewelry box. I sneaked my necklace off just for her. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard to. Just give her that necklace when you find this letter. Since you have a little bit of me, I want her to also.

I love you Elliot, and I know you can do this. You can be a Dad. You can raise her by yourself. She may need Amanda and Alex at some point in her life, but other than that, I know you got the rest of this.

Please forgive me for leaving you, my love. I love you and our daughter so damn much, that writing this is just making it harder for me. I can't be positive anymore.

Never forget me...

xoxo,

Liv

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