Within your heart

Chapter 3:School

Sorry this chapter is so short, the next will be much longer. Promise!
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My alarm buzzed next to me like an annoying reminder that I hadn't slept a wink. 7:30.

I swiped snooze, not wanting to get up yet but not wanting to loose track of time either.

I stared out my frosted window. A winter wonderland out there. I could practically smell the spiced apple and cinnamon plug in air freshener my mum always used at this time of year. The crispness of the air.

The only downfall was my lungs. They couldn't handle the condensation, it felt like concrete in my lungs. So heavy.

I sighed. I closed my eyes again. Just 5 minutes that's all I'm asking for 5 minutes of solid, deep peaceful sleep!

I turned to my side, my thick duvet crinkling with every movement. A soft rustling sound.

Just when I thought I was finally getting to sleep I heard my door knock.

I turned to face it and saw my mother standing in the door way. Her fist still hovering over the door.

"Good morning sweetheart" my mum said in her hushed warm morning voice. She walked over to me and handed me a warm mug of hot chocolate.

"Hi mum, morning" I uttered retrieving the mug from her cold hands.

"Listen about yesterday..." She started, nervousness intertwining with every word she uttered.

"Forget about it, we'll get through it right" The thing about my mother was, she was fragile. People had this pre concieved notion because of how tough and abrupt she can be. It was an all act, a front deep down she was very sensitive and I knew that if I could show her that I believed what I was saying she would too.

"Of course we will sweetheart, we can get through anything". My mother smiled wide as she spoke those words. She clung to my strength in times like this.

"Is breakfast ready?" I uttered feeling my ravenous hunger beginning to make itself known with a loud growl. A cooked breakfast bring my sole motivation to get out of bed at this good forsaken time.

"You know it" she laughed. I hope her appetite had returned.

"What is there for breakfast" I said quickly ridding of my alarm with one minute to go. I hesitantly got out of bed wrapping one of the blankets on top of my bed over me like a shawl.

"Vegan sausages, mushrooms, hash browns, potato scones, baked beans and a tofu scramble" my mum said as we exited the room.

"Your kidding right? Why all this food are we dining with royals this morning?" I joked as we descended the staircase. You must understand I was used to plain old porridge, cereal or toast. This all seemed like too much. I then came to the realization that this was because her daughter was dying not because we were dining with Prince Philip.

My mum tried to say something but I simply uttered "forget it, looks delicious!" I eagerly loaded up my plate with two of everything... What can I say a girl's gotta eat, and if I am dying then fuck it, I'll take a serving on the missing royal's behalf! In the distance I heard footsteps descending the staircase. There was only person it could be but my dad started work way before school so he was never home for breakfast. This all felt like too much.

"Dad, what are you still doing here?" I said with my mouth full of scrambled tofu. You could tell I made my parents proud hahaha.

"What, can't I have breakfast with the two most important women in my life" Ah yes the innocent card. All too familiar. I see what your doing dad.

"Not if it means being late to work, no you most certainly can not". I said concerned. We we're hardly wealthy. In all honesty we were barely getting by.

"Relax, I called work told them I was gonna be in a little later today" he said calmly. How was he not getting this? His cool and collected tone was incredibly frustrating. Like my grandmother always says, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. So I bit back my tongue and remained quiet. We all ate in silence with my dad making the occasional comment about something that had happened in the news or at work. Once I was finished I placed my plate and cutlery in the dishwasher before going upstairs and putting on my school uniform. A white shirt, navy blazer and tartan floor length skirt. I heard my mum call on me downstairs informing me that it was time to go. I grabbed my school bag, praying I'd done all the homework that was due and we drove to school as the UK top 40 played quietly in the background.