Within your heart

Chapter 5: Understand

I could feel many sets of eyes beginning to stare at me. The latest gossip had already began to change it seemed.

As phones began to be be lifted from the sides of tables and the usual sounds of tapping and clicking began to murmur in the background.

I got up from the table, not wanting to be the spectacle of ridiculate and set off to find my friends.

Clumms being the big baby that she was would be in the bathroom.

How did I know that you ask? Well it's always where you find her when she's upset and she has a little bit of an obsession with moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter....

I kept my head low as I exited the canteen.

As I left I shut my eyes for a split second to let my eyes adust to the change in lighting in the hall.

The light bulbs we're this horrendous fluorescent yellow. Reminded me of the flames of hell... Hmm wonder why I suddenly went crashing into something solid.

Oh shit.

It was him.

He looked down, his face reading like a giant question mark. The minute he saw me his face relaxed and a blush sprinked along his cheeks and end of his nose. "Umm... Hi" he said as he scratched the back of his neck. "Hello" I retorted back with my head down.

Not quite wanting to meet his eyes, I now found myself getting quite emotional.

You see... He is my ex, and no, We didn't end over any huge drama or agrument.

We broke up around 6 months ago because his Gran died and he just wanted to be alone.

Neither of us have dated anyone since and it's just been kind of awkward. I always envisioned us getting back together for the longrun... Don't give me that look! He was my first love.

I could feel the air thickening with awkwy tension so Without warning I slipped past him feeling the all too familiar feeling of my eyes beginning to sting. I turned to the left and dashed into the girls bathroom. Seeing a crowd of girls perching over I'm front of the stall trying to listen in.

Wtf. I slammed the bathroom door shut causing many of the girls to jump, I just raised a brow at them and they all disappeared out the door dashing as though I'd just lit a fire. I sighed and went into the cubicle next to Clumms's and rested my head on the side of the cubicle separating us. "Clumms" I uttered.

She stayed silent and tried to hush her heavy breathing. Her sniffling is what gave away that she was still there. "Clumms I'm so sorry, there is just nothing I could do. You've known for months now that something was up.

Knowing what I know now, all I've been doing is slowing down the inevitable.

Giving myself more time, but I don't have time to fall out with you. We fall out and we will never make back up-" with that Clumms got out of the cubicle and threw the door of mine open and gave me a hug as she cried on my shoulder.

"B-but This isn't fair!" She sniffed as she grabbed a hold of my shoulders and faced me. Her mascara looked like it was trying to run away.I looked down at my school shirt only to see it had changed color. Ah yes the lovely shade of foundation she had graced my shirt with. To be quite honest it looked like she used me as a makeup wipe. Nevertheless these things just didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was making things work with the babbling mess In front of me.

I couldn't even tell what she was saying. I could feel my lungs beginning to fill and my heart was practically pounding through my ears. I knew this symptom. All to well, never a good sign. I got up and ran my hands through my hair as my balance began to waver.

I could hear Clumms in the background calling my name I just held on to the side of the cubicle trying to ride it out. A few minutes went by and the walls looked like they were dancing. I grabbed Clums by the arm and just uttered one word as my words began to slur "Santana".