Erotic Book Club {E.B.C} 2018

October 10th - Feedback

So my overall thoughts on the writing, taking into account I only read the first chapter. I am not going to address the elephant in the room again since I made my feelings clear in my comment on your chapter. Instead I will focus on structure and grammar. I feel like your grammar was overall okay, though you seemed to have an issue with run on sentences in several places and a few other places were in need of punctuation. The idea of a curse on a kingdom is an interesting one and your descriptions were fine, but I feel like the execution could use a little work. Have you considered sending to an editor to proofread? I feel like that would help a lot. I did appreciate though that it was a human with a troll and not a human with another human. I am a sucker for interracial pairings of all varieties. 

– Medula

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I managed to read 20 chapters before I completely lost interest, sounds mean but I can explain.

Title: For an erotic book it's an amazing title you kind know exactly what you're getting.

Looking back on the book I realize that I don't have a clue what the main character is called. I don't know if I missed it somewhere or if it has never been said, either way, it hasn't been said enough for me to know it and that's an issue.

I love the storyline, the idea of gorgeous trolls having to impregnate women to build up their population is great.

Although I can understand the women giving birth to human babies or troll babies, I have no idea how they can give birth to fairy babies from being impregnated by a giant troll. I know it's fantasy but I just don't get it.

Also, I have no idea why all of the births are multiples, dude giving birth to 4 babies at once with no hospital or drugs, just wow. First off I had visions of her hoo-ha being like a wizards sleeve afterward, I mean she would have split to hell and I am sure it would put anyone off of sex for life, but not this bird. Second, her body would be ruined stretching out that much that shit ain't ever going back to normal, boobs by your ankles and stomach resting on your feet.

All jokes aside I did love the plot and by chapter 10 found myself wanting to know what was going to happen next but sadly gradually as we got through each chapter I lost interest. The reason for this is there is next to no dialogue up to chapter 7 and then afterward none at all. I am a chatterbox, to feel invested in the characters, apart from knowing their names (yeah I ain't letting that go) I like to read about their conversations that they have with each other. Also, I found that I began to dislike the main character, I get that its a kingdom of sex blah blah blah but I found this book was more full on porn than an erotic romance.

I feel like the main character was only in love with Randolf because he had a huge cock and was a little nice to her while he demanded sex from her. Like I don't see where the romance comes into it at all to be completely honest. I found that I got bored of all the sex, she was just having it with everyone, in the end, any person she didn't speak to (because there was very little dialogue) she had sex with them straight away. I just felt like the poor girl would be sore as hell, it was one step away from her just lying in bed and letting everyone cue at the door for a go on her. I didn't have any respect for her and in all honesty my favorite character was Mason I felt he was a jumped up little shit but that he was always trying to fill his big troll brothers boots which ain't gonna happen is it.

One last thing grossed out that the mother in law got all turned on each time the main character told her about sleeping with her 3 sons, like I know she ain't getting any from the king but come on Eww.