Hurt by you [ Eddie Brock ]

4. Little do you know

  Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memory  

I stopped in the parking lot watching Eddie scared as he straddled his motorcycle. All of a sudden all of my courage had been blown away when the reality chained me. I didn't like motorcycles because my previous boyfriend had a serious accident when he was riding home, and of course since then we broke up, but I still had my fears when it came to bikes. 

Eddie looked at me silently, while I wondered what should I do. Would it be rude to refuse his offer if I already accepted it? I know I already told him the address, so the answer was... probably yes...

His expression softened when he noticed the fear on my face, which was still a strange thing from him. I got used to the ruthless and prick Eddie Brock, not his new side. 

"Don't worry, I'll go slow, okay?" he gave me an inciting smile while I just stood there. 

"I don't know about this." I replied nervously, earning an impatient glare from him.

"I'll take care of you, just come here..."he leaned over and grabbed my pale hand, starting to pull me over to him. When I was right next to him, he took the helmet from me, only to put it on my head before I could deny. "Just trust me, okay?"

I nodded, making him smile as he waited for me to climb behind him. He started the engine after I sat down. Before I could blink, Eddie grabbed my wrist gently, only to wrap them tightly around his middle. I blushed as I leaned closer to him, when he let go of my hands. I didn't know whether I should be embarrassed or just confused. 

"Don't let go." he told me before he pulled onto the street. As soon as we left the building, I closed my eyes, when the freezing fear cut into my bones. I tried to think of something else, but it seemed completely impossible as the noises of the city slowly surrounded us. Suprisingly having Eddie close to me calmed me down somehow, but I didn't know why he had this effect on me. Especially when there was time when I was afraid of him too, just like now I was afraid of riding. 

When he pulled over to the building's driveway, I didn't waste my time: I immediately jumped down from the bike, even before Eddie could turn off the engine. After he did, he turned over to me with a small smile on his face as I took off his helmet. When he saw my expression, I could hear him chuckle. 

"Come on, Ray, it wasn't that bad." he told me, earning from me a crude glare. 

"Of course it wasn't, if we talk about the possibilities of getting into accidents on motorcycles." I stated, while Eddie just stared at me. I stepped closer to him, giving back his helmet. When he took it, his fingers met mines, making me pull my hand back quicklier than I've ever done it. 

I walked away from him, feeling his gaze on the back of my neck, while he hasn't move an inch. When I reached the door, I looked back at him. "Thank you for the ride."

Eddie nodded as he just watched me disappear behind the doors. 

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I kept writing on my stories just to drag my attention from Eddie. It's been hours since he brought me back to my apartment, and I couldn't stop thinking about my mixed feelings. A part of me still hated him, and thereby kept reminding me what he's done to me, but on the other hand I was more confident with him coming home, unlike walking back all by myself. I haven't got any idea what has gotten into me, and I certainly didn't like the fact that I wasn't in control over my feelings. 

The thought sunk into my mind as I leaned back in my bed. Could I give him a second chance if our feelings would change? I didn't plan it, because I didn't want to get close to him. People alwys told me those can hurt you possibly who are the closest to you. 

I was smart enough to avoid those who can hurt me, but something started changing around Eddie... It was probably because of my confusion after I saw that he'd changed, and became more caring than he ever used to be.   

But I still didn't trust him. Whenever I remembered back to his smile or his words about taking care of me, my past flashed through my mind with the memories of him bullying me whenever he got the chance. However I knew I shouldn't have high expectations from him, considering to the boy who used to hurt me. 

He can be dangerous or even worse then he used to be. I had to keep my eyes open, because he still could easily hurt me. Physically or mentally. I made a promise before I left Seattle, which included getting away from those like Eddie. But when I was with him, he could easily make me forgive everything I've ever had against him. 

He was manipulative over me without even trying. That was his guard. And if I didn't watch out, he could easily destroy me. 

My phone started ringing, snapping me out of my thoughts. When I saw Sidney's name on the screen, I wasted no time picking it up.

"Hi, sleepyhead." I told her with a grin on my face, while I could see her grimace in front of me without having her with me. 

"Hey you. Where are you?"

"Um... You were sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up so...I came home... Actually." I tried to show some confidence, but I knew I couldn't lie to her. 

"You went home... Alone?" she asked curiously, and I looked around in my room. 

"Not really. I got a ride, but that's it."

"From who?" I could see her hostile expression in front of my eyes, that's when I knew I couldn't avoid the object.

"From Ziggy's neighbour." I replied quietly hoping it would be enough for an answer. There were a few moments before she spoke up again. 

"But the only neighbour he has is Ed... Wait." she stopped while I just sat silently. "Eddie took you home?"

"I didn't really have a choice, so yeah... But we won't make habits from it or anything. It was just a one time thing, and it won't happen again."

To be honest I wasn't sure whom I wanted to convince. Her or myself.