Midnight Lover . J.Jk[On Going]

ch 14

" Aera please. This is not a topic we can joke about." He sternly said

" But I'm not joking" I replied.
" Enough. I'll visit you later. You still need time to accept the fact that you were the cause of your boyfriend's death." He remarked and left

So he thinks that too. I can't blame him though. He's right. I am the reason my Baekhyun is gone. I am the reason why Jungkook couldn't find his lover. I am the culprit. I am the wrong one here.

" Ma'am is everything okay? Why are you crying?" The nurse asked.
" I am fine. When can I go home?" I softly asked.

" In the evening. Mr Jeon said he's going to take you home"
" Okay"

Time skip
The whole car ride to home was akwardly silent. Jungkook took me to his own house this time and not his mom's.

" Your room is the first one to the left upstairs" he said.

I went upstairs and started searching for my room. I went inside and shut the door before breaking down completely.

I felt guilt and sorrow swallowing from inside. My heart was wrenching from the unforgettable scene of my lover lying in a bathtub cold and dead.

How much he loved me that even while dying he didn't forget to mention that he loved me. And what did I do?

I pushed him beyond the breaking point and let him feel ashamed and weak. I could feel the agony rising in my body preventing me from thinking about anything else other than him.

I slid down the door and cried.

Cry you idiot. Cry as much as you want. That's the only thing you're good at anyways. My inner voice screamed.

Regret everything you've done to him. You deserve to feel every inch of the pain that he felt every single day. How selfish you can be isn't it? You deserve to feel how it feels like to be betrayed by someone you love the most. See how it feels to not be believed on.

I cried louder and louder every time I heard voices screaming in my head. I pressed my hands on my ears to prevent myself from hearing those harsh truths.

" No please stop!! Please!! I beg of you. Stop it!!" I screamed

Why should I? What happened sweetheart? Afraid to hear the bitter truth? You. Yes you are the reason he's gone. You are the reason everyone is so unhappy. Why can't you just accept that you're just a mistake in this world? The voices grew louder.

See for your foolishness, Jungkook is sad. For your foolishness Seojun is sad. For your foolishness you are sad.

Why don't you just give up love?

I looked up to see Baekhyun standing there.

Author's p.o.v
" You can always give up " he said to her.
" You can forget everything and come to me. I am always here for you love. Why don't you just let go and stay with me? "

" Will I be happy then? Will you be happy? Will Jungkook be happy if I do that? Will it be good for everyone?" She asked dazed.

" Yes. I assure you that it's going to be fine. Come with me and everything's going to be alright" and so she went with him.

" We're here"
" Han river looks to beautiful from here" she smiled ruefully.

" Yes now let's go together" he said stepping towards the railing
" Baekhyun!! Step back!" She shouted but he was determined

" What are you afraid of love? Was it not this that you wanted? Or are you afraid of death?" He smirked at stood on the railing

" Baekhyun no!!!" She screamed but it was too late. He jumped.

The water enveloped him completely and swallowed him deep inside

And once again, she failed to save her lover. Once again

She sat and cried out for help but Jungkook was not there to console and help her.

Not this time...

And so she cried and cried until she couldn't feel her tears anymore but she did regret.

She regretted every single minute she spent without Baekhyun. She regretted every second she didn't talk to him.
She regretted everything she did without him. She had him with her but she couldn't savour and cherish him.

And that was what she regretted the most. Not enjoying with him every moment she had. She regretted every fight she had with him.

She regretted every single harsh word she said to him. She regretted drinking.

She let emotions take control her and let the agony eat her up because she felt that she deserved it. She felt weak that she couldn't figure for her love

She felt ashamed that she couldn't understand her lover. She felt guilty that she didn't do anything when she could've.

She waited and waited for everything to become as it was. But that never happened. She was completely destroyed. Mentally and physically.

After all she was the cause of everything that was happening then. If only she would've loved him more.

If only she would've tried to see through his insecurities. If only she would've tried to mend his broken heart. If only...

But it was too late for that. She had failed herself and everyone. She failed to prove herself. She failed to prove her love for him and now she was facing the consequences.

She had no one. She had no one to listen to her. She had no shoulder to cry on. She had no one to embrace. She had no hand to hold. She had no reason to smile. She had no one to love. She had no one. She had nothing. She was bare and naked facing the harsh reality. Alone

And so she vent out all her anger, sadness, frustrations, guilt, sorrow. Alone.

She called for Jungkook. But he was not there to console her.

Not this time....