Shaken (An Adopted By Lin-Manuel Miranda Story)

n i n e

Ariana's Point of View

I had no idea what to say.

My mind was racing in circles as Lin had just asked me the question I never expected to have to answer, never expected him to force onto me. He had just asked me the question I never wanted to hear come out of anyone's mouth...

"What's wrong with you?"

Was it because of the passing out, or the large scar on the top of my head? I'd tried to cover it up, but apparently, it didn't work.

Suddenly I was in that hospital room again, laying beside her with tears streaming down my face as she beat me with words, emotionally scarring me before Chris swept her away, calling me the same nasty things that she called me. Maya and Chris, the twin and the biological father, ready to finish with me.

I suddenly sat alone in the orphanage, rocking myself back and forth until I fell asleep. Jittering around, I cried quietly, trying not to disturb my bunkmate again. Carla didn't deserve to suffer from my experiences.

The lights went out.

I was at Carla's funeral.

The poor soul, taken so early in life. My best friend, gone. She had lost even more hope than I had. The only way she could think of being treated was by killing herself. She thought in her mind that she had no one, thought that she was an outcast. Even though she was loved by many, she couldn' t see it, and none of us could help her in time.

I then got swept to present day again.

"You know what? Never mind. I'll just let you go. Have fun with your life, weirdo."

I woke up, gasping for air. This happened often in the past, waking up from nightmares about when I was younger, but not recently. Tears streamed down my face as I curled up in a ball, checking the electric clock on the wall. Two forty-two in the morning. I squinted my eyes shut in distress, shoving my face into my pillow. I listened to the steady beat of my heart and studied the deep breaths I was taking, calming myself. I rubbed my eyes, swept my hair away, and sighed. I had school, it was a Tuesday. Luckily for me, I couldn't sleep for my past was haunting me. Usually when this happened, I woke up Adam and he'd help me. Grab me some water, talk me through why I needed to stay strong. But I hadn't done that in a few months, and I really never wanted to have to do it again. It was quite embarrassing.

On the other hand...

I was leaving soon, and I wouldn't be able to physically get him to do that anymore. Today was my last chance, I presumed. My last chance to get the spectacle on video so that I could go back to it every time I needed a reminder. So, I got up slowly, climbing down the stairs, trying not to make a sound. I pushed open the door, tiptoeing through the hall as slowly and carefully as I could. One of the ten year old girls was watching Steven Universe, what she always did this early in the morning. She never slept.  You could hear the music as I went by, being as silent as I could before the door opened. The little girl, Sadie, twiddled with her fingers. She didn't dare meet my eyes, just whispered softly and quietly. "I'm going to miss you when you're gone. Cassie told me that you were going to live with someone, but neither of us know who, so I just wanted to tell you that you're awesome and I hope you have fun in your new fancy home," she muttered, looking at me now. My heart melted as I leaned down to hug the girl. "Thank you, Sadie. It means a lot." Sadie and I weren't the closest, but then again, no one was really close here. Other than the owners and I, no one really knew lots about each other. Everyone was just kind-of there, supporting each other through thick and thin.

The girl left and I proceeded to the end of the hall, thankful I made it without waking anyone up. (Sadie was up anyway. She didn't count.) I knocked on the door lightly, and seconds later, the door opened just slightly. Adam peeked one of his brown eyes, peering at me before smiling and opening the door a little wider. "Come to see me one last time, eh?"