Shine like a diamond

Chapter Six

A week had passed by and I felt much better. Being in Ruby's company was really soothing. Every minute I spent with her was worth more than a thousand hours with a therapist. It was as if the monster hiding inside of me feared her, it didn't dare come out in front of her.

Practice session were going well too, seeing Love Live approach at an alarmingly fast pace made us reconsider our practice schedule so we started meeting up every day. Riko had finished writing the songs and all that was left was brushing up on a few details of the choreographies. I had a good feeling about it, for sure we would win.

While on my way to the club room, I suddenly felt a big impact hit my back. Two arms were also wrapping around my chest. It was Ruby. She saw me walking and decided to give me a surprise hug from behind.

"Helloooo!" she shrieked

I smiled.

"Hello Ruby," I answered back.

Ruby grabbed my hand and we walked the remaining distance to the club room together, hand in hand.

The first one who saw us coming was Dia, Ruby's older sister.

"Well well... if it isn't my two favorite lovers," she said, smiling.

It wasn't that common to see Dia smiling. She usually wore a very serious and disciplined face.

"Now that we have everyone, we can start," she said, talking to the whole group, "I'm not gonna beat around the bush for too long, Love Live's coming up and you know what that means: we need to practice more."

Dia was head of the student council and a really studious student, so those words didn't shock anyone in the room.

"What I propose is for everyone of us to gather at my place for an intensive practice session. An entire weekend's worth of practice, after that for sure we'll be ready for the competition," she announced.

Everyone nodded. It was clear that our dances weren't ready yet and Dia's solution seemed like the only good possibility.

"No goofing around though, no going out at the beach, no nothing, only practice," she ended on.

Everyone's head fell down and a collective sigh could be heard. We didn't really want to accept it, but she was right, if we didn't really practice, we'd end up at the bottom of the charts.

Unhappy, everyone agreed to Dia's statement.

"Well then, off you go everyone, you need a good's night sleep. Tomorrow I want you all at my house by 5," she concluded with.

"Surely you don't mean in the morning, do you?" asked Mari, with a bit of fear in her voice.

"Absolutely I do! I told you, intensive practice session," Dia answered.

No one dared to contradict her, we all got up, desperate and left the club room. Ruby approached me as I was leaving.

"If you want you can stay at our house tonight, you'll be there already tomorrow so you won't have to wake up too early," she told me.

"Oh, that's a wonderful idea Ruby!" I replied, "I'll notify my parents and I'll meet you in about an hour." I told Ruby, smiling.

I saw an expression of pure happiness on her face as she smiled back at me, giggling a bit. It was that face that I wanted to live for, that face I was willing to put all the efforts in the world to see.

***

I had taken all my stuff with me and was waiting in front of the Kurosawa household for Ruby to open the door for me. It had only been an hour since I last saw her, but I was still really excited. No matter how many times I did stuff with her, I never got bored of it. Every time was just as exciting of an experience as the last time.

I saw the door open and Ruby let me inside her house. As I entered, I was immediately greeted by a really nice smell. Clearly someone was cooking something.

As I penetrated deeper inside the house, I saw Dia behind a kitchen counter, baking cookies, chocolate chips they looked like. I had no idea she enjoyed cooking. As Ruby invited me to follow her into her room, I waved at Dia to notify her of my presence and followed Ruby as she walked around the house to her room. There, I placed my bag containing, among others, clean clothes for the next day and my pyjama.

Ruby and I talked for a few hours sitting comfortably on her bed. We talked about a lot of things, mostly about the upcoming Love Live. I wanted to tell her about my problem but in the end, I just couldn't get myself to do it, I'm not quite ready yet. I do believe it's necessary for me to talk about it with someone else, if I just keep it inside of me, hidden, it could grow out of proportions, but not now. I really want Ruby to be the one to know though. I know she's the one who is the most likely to understand me, to help me and all. Moreover, I felt like talking about such a serious topic would kind of break the mood.

After talking for a while, I realized I wasn't the only one stressing about Love Live, Ruby too was overwhelmed by the pressure. The only time we've really performed in front of an audience was in the school gym, with only the town folks present. Love Live was something else completely, an immense public constituted of people from all around the country. We both pondered upon that thought for a few minutes, not really exchanging any words. How would I manage to keep calm in front of so many people? If I messed up on stage, what would happen? What if my mistakes dragged all the other girls down? Would they still consider me part of the group? Would they ever forgive me if I was the one responsible for getting Aqours in last place? More importantly, what would Ruby think of me? She'd probably hate me, would she? Think badly of me... Would she ever find the way to love me again? Probably not... Who would anyway, I'm not even a lovable person, I have nothing to attract others.

I probably looked like I was in some sort of trance because Ruby decided to shake me.

"Maru! Are you ok? You were gazing into space and now your eyes are all watery. You didn't even hear me talking," she told me, in a worried tone.

It had happened again; my depression had taken over. More and more I felt the need to talk to Ruby about it but at the same time I didn't want to.

"I'll wait for Love Live to end at least," I thought to myself.

The last thing I wanted to happen was for the other girls to decide not to partake in the competition for my sake. I did not want the others' pity, much less for them to sacrifice their dreams for me.

"Right after Love Live ends I'll tell her," I thought, "Immediately after. If I don't want to go through this all my life, I must do it."

I reached out to Ruby with my arms outstretched. She did the same and we exchanged a really warm hug. I rested my head on her shoulder and allowed myself to cry. As I was sobbing, I felt her fingers delicately move through my hair.

"If you need to talk about it, I'm all open," she whispered.

I didn't answer but at that moment, I realized just how lucky I was to have her in my life and my grasp around her tightened even more.