Amor Eterno

Chapter 3

"Shivaay, you remember the first time I thought I was expecting...", Annika flicked a tear away. "I wasn't ready for it, but you were", he completed. "But I promise this time I am." "I know you are, the moment I found I wasn't, you were ready even then. You weren't ready for us having a baby because you thought you weren't prepared for the responsibility of a child. But you still had made up your mind, you had begun to imagine what our little world with our girl would be like. But now...". "But now what...?" "But now I'm fearing...I always wanted to have a baby Shivaay. I always wanted to have a family of my own. A soul that would be a part of me, a child I would nurture for months in my womb. A baby who would call me, Maa. But Shivaay I didn't grow up under the care of a mother. What if...what if I don't know how to become one? Being a mother is more than just giving birth to a child..."

Shivaay clasped her hand and looked into her eyes, "you will be the world's best mother Annika". "You will be! There was a time Annika I wasn't sure about us. There was a time Annika I wasn't sure if we should be together or not. Everyone Annika, everyone could sense we were meant to be together. But I wasn't ready. Remember when Mallika came to our house she said this, and later Om did too. 'Annika...she touches your heart and your soul the way no one else has or can.' I did believe that there was something between us Annika, I just couldn't give it a name. Every time I inched closer to you the fact that I knew nothing about you pulled me back, name, blood and lineage...all this was embedded in my brain since years. We all lived under the same roof, shielded each other against the world. But our house was no less than a battlefield, where cold wars were fought every other day. I was made to believe that we were all together for those very things, and so they mattered the most to me. I couldn't foresee a future for us Annika, I couldn't see us as a couple so much in love. I couldn't see you...I couldn't see you as the mother of my children Annika. But now...you're the only person I can see as that...".

Annika's lower lip trembled as she tried to take in everything. He touched his forehead with hers as both of them closed their eyes. "I would have it no other way Annika. You unknowingly altered my ways. Taught me how to be Shivaay, not just Shivaay Singh Oberoi. And now your Shivaay is sure enough to say that the motherhood instincts I witnessed you develop when Pari walked into our world for a day, were enough to make me believe that they'd only be much more when our pari walks into our lives. You were always the best wife...everything I could ask for. And now you will be the best mother for my kids Annika."

"But what if Shivaay...what if I fail...I've always made decisions for my life Shivaay, never for another, in such a way at least..." "You're forgetting Annika, you raised Sahil." "Yes because he was my brother, my responsibility, I couldn't turn away from him, my heart would never let me abandon him. But this time the choice is mine." "Do you want this child Annika? Think about nothing else. Not what I want. Not what anyone else does. Not what anyone thinks. Just listen to your heart and tell me, does Annika want to become a mother now?" "Yes. I do." "Then fear nothing my love. You're not alone. My Annika never feared anything. Never doubted herself. She stood firm in the face of everything life threw at her. She became the woman I was proud of, and was proud of being hers. She gets what she wants, never lets any worry block her path." "Happiness still scares me Shivaay. You know it always has, anything that brings a smile on my face makes me worry what am I being tested for this time...What if I stumble..."

"...You will find my hand reaching out for you...always. This baby is ours, I promise it'll all be fine. You're my Annika. You can't fall weak like this. If you want this baby then let no fear cloud your mind. I promise someday you'll realize it was all worth it. Someday when our daughter picks you as the better parent, you'll understand why I believe in you."

Annika smiled and instantly hugged him while still bursting into tears. He pecked on her head and let it rest on his shoulder as he caressed her hair. "I...I love you Shivaay...". "I love you more Annika."