Matt x Reader

I love you...?

Once you woke up from your slumber, you've notice Matt had been sleeping next to you, looking around you saw that you'd been in a hospital room. Wanting to sit you pushed yourself up but immediately stopped once you felt a sharp pain on you lower abdomen, lifting up the hospital gown you has a few stitches from some puncture wounds, you also found bruises all over you thighs and hips. Laying back down on your back and tried to push Matt away but he just ended up waking up. He pushed himself up and got out of bed, avoiding eye contact with you he sat back down on his wheelchair and looked at the ground.

He wanted to hold you, kiss you, tell you how sorry he was for not being strong enough to protect you... but he couldn't, he couldn't bring himself to face you anymore so Matt just stayed in the same room as you to keep you company.

Looking up at the ceiling you didn't remember such of what happened, you knew some guys came in and beat the living shit out of you both but that's it. While staring off your doctor walked in with a lady. "(Y/N) this is Renee, she's the hospitals therapist for Ladies" The doctor said as he nodded at the lady.

"A therapist? why would I need one of those..?" At that moment Matt didn't know what to do, we wanted to leave the room but needed to hold your hand. As the doctor started explaining everything that has happened He buried his face into his hands and pulled on his hair slightly as he had to hear and relive what he put you through. After being told that you'd been raped you didn't know what do think, you didn't remember anything of it but you would feel the pain, you couldn't accept it. "No...no That didn't happ-I JUST GOT BEAT UP!" The doctor tried his best to comfort you and tell you that it was ok to feel confused and angry so he had you speaking to the therapist.

Weeks after the incident you had to go back to Matt's apartment in England, of course he had gone with you since the both on you had been living together ever since leaving the orphanage. Mello had taken care of the mission by himself since he didn't want any of you getting into more harm. While staying at home you felt as if Matt had become distant with you, he'd eat alone, slept on the couch, would always go out and not come home until late night.

You had been sitting on the couch looking through the channels and saw Matt Starting to gather some of his things into a small bag, "What are you doing..." At first he ignored you but sighed. "Don't worry, I'll still pay the rent" "Mail Jeevas what are you doing" You stood up, still having stitches on you body it sure as hell hurt but you were now started to feel anxious that he would be leaving you. "You're not fucking leaving me", you started to walk to him and held onto the table. "(Y/N).. its for your safety" "My safety!? SO YOU ARE LEAVING" "Yes I'm leaving! Now get off my ass!". Your heart started racing, all your memories together flashed into your head in seconds, your felt disgusting after the rape, the beating. Maybe that's why he wanted to leave you, he didn't want to be with such a mess.

"Its because I'm disgusting isn't it! I cant even look at myself either without knowing how pathetic I am! If I can't look at myself in a good way why should I expect more from you! SO fine! Leave what do I care right! All you've been doing for the past weeks is ignore me, You couldn't of dropped bigger hints!" As you yelled at the top of your lungs at him you hadn't felt the tears that had escaped your eyes. They ran down you cheeks quickly, knowing you had already lost a child you didn't know you had at the moment you know had to deal with your boyfriend leaving you too. You started hyperventilating, you head spun around and knees weak. Feeling as you were about to fall down but Matt wrapped his arms around you in a strong embrace.

You felt how stiff he was, holding your head against his chest he ran his fingers though your hair and kissed your head. "Babe... I don't hate you, find you gross or pathetic or any of that bullshit. You know I love you, I've loved you ever since I met ya at the orphanage. I'm the one that's putting you in all this danger (Y/N), if you didn't come with me none of this would of happened!" You held his cheeks and leaned in. "I wanted to come with, I'm one of L's successor, just as you, so I had all the right to be there with you and Mello"