Come Daybreak

Xue Yang (xiii)

Feng Xinya watched on in silence as the small platinum-haired boy kneeled on the ground, his tears leaking through the crevices between his fingers and trailing down his cheeks.

He wasn't going to lie to himself. Feng Xinya felt slight discomfort at the sight of the pained Xue Yang in front of him. The frail boy was always emotionless and empty. He knew it was due to the lack of memories--missing an essential part of himself.

But seeing him in his current state didn't bring him any pleasure like it should have--not in the sadistic sense, but due to having the boy finally remember his identity so that he could complete his first mission sooner.

Feng Xinya couldn't help but frown slightly.

Suddenly, Xue Yang let his hand drop and tilted his head upwards, looking up at the high ceiling above. His expression was blank as always, but the despair was completely embedded within his pale green eyes. Yet, a hint of ruthlessness almost imperceptibly flashed through them but Feng Xinya was able to catch it and raised a brow in feint interest.

With shallow breaths as he tried to compose himself, Xue Yang glanced at Feng Xinya from the corner of his eyes before chuckling slowly in self-derision.

"I've been wanting to tell you since the beginning," Xue Yang's lips curled upwards into a soft self-deprecating smile as his quiet voice sounded in the large library.

He sighed, tired, "You aren't the type to get close to others."

Feng Xinya didn't retract his gaze from Xue Yang's clear jade eyes.

Taking the man's silence as an affirmation, Xue Yang slowly continued with a small breath as he closed his eyes shielding them from Feng Xinya's sight and letting the residue tears fall,

"I'm not, you know. Pure. Haha, such a damning word that is," he scoffed, challenging Feng Xinya with his gaze, "I'm sullied. Tainted."

Yet your eyes remain so bright and clear.

They were unclouded, and in Feng Xinya's opinion the most beautiful pair of eyes he'd ever seen in his life. Even more so, now that the boy had regained his memories.

Xue Yang bit his lip in frustration at Feng Xinya's lack of response, but he knew. The man didn't believe an ounce of what he just said.

Resigned, Xue Yang muttered with a firm tone, "I'm human, too, you know. Full of desires, especially now that I know who I am."

He slowly pushed himself off of the floor, standing, without even a glance back he walked towards the elevator.

Before he reached the elevator, Feng Xinya's grip had already secured his thin wrist, keeping the smaller boy from leaving.

With his deep voice, Feng Xinya interrogated, "Who are you?"

And everything clicked as Xue Yang finally understood.

"You, are really heartless."

He reluctantly turned to meet Feng Xinya's ruthless gaze, it seemed as if nothing was capable of moving those eternally still eyes.

And what little tender feelings Xue Yang had for the other man, dissipated just as quickly if not even faster than they appeared.

Both men had quite substantial EQs. They knew they felt something if anything towards the other--albeit due to the perpetual lack thereof towards everything else. Those feelings were actually very weak and almost negligible to the point of merely being regarded as appreciation and slight interest.

But, Xue Yang was wrong. He didn't know that he was a large part of the reason Feng Xinya was so distressed earlier; the reason Feng Xinya felt the need to erase his own memory about this lifetime.